Chaos Zone

House and Cuddy

2007-04-18T01:22:00.000-07:00

Finals are here. So I have to make my yearly entry. No, seriously, I never actually TRY to post only during finals and midterms but that's what ended up happening.

But really. This time it's not becuase of finals that I am posting. It's becuase of House.

Forgive me while I fangirl over the fact....

House was feaking jealous of Wilson. Their final conversation in the episode was absolutely awsome.

Wilson: YOU YOU YOU! *jumps* You were going to let me do that?!
House: *laughs dryly* You made a compelling argument.
Wilson: YOU sent me those flowers!
House: Yes! Because YOU took her to a play! Because actually you do want to march down there and kiss her!
Wilson: No! I don't!
House: Yes you do!
Wilson: *sighs* You are right.
House: *look of utter horror* Seriously?
Wilson: No. *turns* You're a jerk.
House: Night Wilson.
Wilson: *like nothing happened* Night House.

And then the most shocking part of the episode (at least to me):

Cuddy: I never get the whole May December thing.
House: Give me a break, May and October is worse.
Cuddy: Well, why can't it be October and October.
House: May is when things start to get hot.
Cuddy: *laughs* If that guy wasn't trying so hard to keep up a woman half his age he wouldn't have almost killed both his kids.
House: Guy gets a little something something. Couple of kids have to die. Circle of life.
Cuddy: So many people. So much energy and drama just trying to find someone who is almost never the right person anyway. It's just... It shouldn't be so hard. *looks on sadly*
House: *taps finger* I got tickets to a play. *looks a Cuddy*

ZOMGZOMGZOMGZOMGZOMG House asked Cuddy to a play!!!!!!! YESYESYESYESYES!

"I have tickets for a play." LOL what a pick up line.

And got jealous of Wilson. Awww. He totally has a thing for that woman. Well I mean last time he kind of chased away that Lube guy. And he is always flirting with her.

Okay I will stop now. Sorry people. I had to let that out somehow.

Mid terms, Naruto, Iroha, Liar Game, Future?

2007-03-02T17:36:00.000-08:00

Let's see. I just finished all my midterms. 2 of them were 2 hours apart -- and in the last half an hour of the second test my brain died on me. Not a good sign at all.

Naruto suddenly became exciting again because Sasuke is finally back. Why does he have to be so emoly awsome? I actually lurked in a few forums for the new chapters despite of the fact Narutards scare me a lot. They make long essays about Naruto and most of them seem to hate Sasuke. Many of them seriously think Sasuke will die. I am sure he won't because that would make history repeats itself and we can't have that in Narutoverse, but of course there's no point in arguing over the future.

Iroha is becoming more historical again. Historical stuff usually interests me but then I don't know anything about Japanese history and I also don't know Japanese, so that kills most of the fun. The good thing is Akizuki is a very handsome character and Kakunojou has gotten a lot cooler lately, so I can't really complain too much, I suppose.

Liar Game started again!!!!! YES! The second chapter of the 3rd game is out (the game before this was supposed to be a revival game it's left out of the count). The girl has finally learned to doubt people! YES! And she gets to work together with the main character guy again. I can't wait to see how this unfolds. Oh, also, there's going to be a live-action out for this series in April! I can't wait to see that either.

Lastly, I have applied for T-log co-op. It was a very tough decision for me since going to MIS makes more sense. I will have an interview for co-op later this month and I am really excited about it. I wish I would stop thinking I am going to be in for sure, but I can't help it. If I am going into something more popular like accounting, I would worry more. But this is t-log... In any case, my resume is not THAT bad, right? I did do a wide variety of extra-curricular activities.

OOoooh, I almost forgot, but it snowed a bit in the past week. That was kind of surprising. I really didn't not expect snow at all.

New school term

2007-01-29T17:56:00.000-08:00

I am taking cs213 and 221 together. This may prove to be one of the worst mistakes in my university career... or not -- because I don't think anything can top taking Japanese and English last year -- but still! This is probably still a bad choice.

cs213 gives the most intense labs in the world. You think 3 hours are enough to do them?! You are dead wrong. It's not so much that they are hard WHEN you actually understand what they are asking you to do... BUT getting to the point where you understand is absolute hell. I spent upward of 15 hours trying to do this assignment and it's not till about 15 mintues ago that I managed to hand it in... AND I WAS FORCED TO MISS Wii-ING with JUSTING AND ANGUS AND ANDREW!! I feel SO cheated.

And then of course there's 221... a continuation of 111 -- a logic course. I see nothing but pain from this course. On top of that I have 2 assignments due for that course this week. Even finance is less painful. And finance course is suppose to be very hard. Commerce people are so freaking spoiled. That course, in comparison to the combination of cs 221 and cs 231... is like strawberry sunday on a hot day. In my opinion, that course is actually kind of... fun?! The level of frustration I get from finance is definately << than either comp sci course.

Worse thing is, I don't even deserve any sympathy despite of my complaining for these two courses becuase I actually CHOSE to take them as my... ELECTIVE?! That's right, I am not even in comp sci, and I probably won't be majoring in comp sci... So, why the hell am I taking them?!

*breath in breath out breath in breath out*

Okay... now that I am slightly more calmed I shall move on to happier things...

Like anime.

Iroha... Or Bakumatsu Kikansetsu Irohanihoheto brings pure joy in my life every single Friday for the last... say 17 weeks or so. I can't believe the show will be ending soon... Next episode is already episode 17 (26-17... LESS than 10 episodes left!!! NOOOOOOOO!) I seriously not know what I will do when this ends. I have gotten so used to Iroha in the last few months... it's honestly hard to imagine not watching that show, or imagining/anticipating for a new episode, or talking to wao or updating my site, or going on forums... I may go into heavy depression after this show ends. And sadly... that will happen right before finals. I have to admit that's a very very worrisome thought. VERY worrisome.

Good thing I have recently got into an anime called Tokyo Majin Gakuen Kenpuchou so I will have somthing to look forward to on the weekends... but I can't get my hopes up because this show may totally be a disappointment after 3 episodes. I really hope not, but it's very likely, in my opinion. In any case, while Tokyo Majin is very entertaining so far... it has much less substance than Iroha, but maybe it will be decent in the end. Hopefully.

For Better or For Worse

2007-01-17T19:43:00.000-08:00

I haven't even noticed that For Better or for Worse is going to semi-end at the end of this month. I have lost interested in the strip ever since Liz started dating Paul. I just didn't like him for some reasons, but a few days ago, by chance I read the strip of Liz and Paul breaking up. The first thought I had was: YES! Now that cool helicopter pilot can have a chance!

Remember, I haven't read the strip for a long time, so imagine my glee when I saw that Warren had returned suddenly to the strip and was actually the one who flew Elizabeth up North!

I really hope the artist will resolve Elizabeth's love interest before semi-ending the strip. I really want to see her finally giving Warren Blackwood (who had been nothing but a gentleman to Liz since the beginning and has been in liked her for a long time) an actual chance. PLEASE! Johnston, if you have a heart, please grant me this one wish and get those two together.

4/5 marks out, Christmas

2006-12-24T14:23:00.000-08:00

4/5 marks out so far and holy crap a miracle obviously happened. How did I managed to get these marks anyway?! Are they even my marks?! I seriously cannot believe my eyes.

After all those angsting I did over my midterms (yes, I did bad in every single one of them other than accounting) a month and a half back these marks is very encouraging indeed. I have never been good at doing finals since I can never cencentrate properly, so I had really low hopes in doing good in this term. But no, actually, so far, my average for this term is higher than all of my previous terms.

As if that is not happy enough, that 4 gig memory stick finally came!!!! I was really starting to think Gorfie lied about the whole putting my name in to get a card thing, but no, he really did get it in. I think I will send him a thank you card later.

And then to add to my holiday mood I had something to do every single day since holiday began.

I got a new hair cut, and this time it actually looks nice on me (ANOTHER miracle). I would even say this is money well spent despite this costing me $100CAN... so I guess that's ~$600HK and that's with a nice discount already!

I spent a lot of money buying gifts for a bunch of relatives this year. Honestly my gifts to them are more expensive than the stuff I bought for my friends this year. I am not sure what caused this but more or less it's due to mother's constant nagging this year.

HenHen is back from US for Christmas I saw him once already. He seems well. He is seriously getting better and better dressed every single time I see him. Thinking back to what he used to wear a few years back, the improvement is amazing.

I have no hopes for Christmas gifts this year. I really don't. I think every single one of the gifts will be a disappointment. And I really don't care about quantity of gifts any more. I just want one or two really good gifts, but I highly doubt I will get those. I think if I want anything I will have to buy them myself.

I want to buy a stereo system for boxing day and possibly a monitor. I really want a monitor. <.< 15 inch is simply not enough for this day and age esp for something who loves doing graphic like me.

Past wed was my parents' 25th anniversary. We had this insane dinner at a Chinese resturant. We had everything from shark fins to lobsters to fried baby pidgeons or something like that. It was absolutely awsome. I bought flowers for my mother at Josie and gave Josie a Christmas card.

I went to see Beauty and the Beast with Antho the past week too. For a community production it was quite good. But obviously it was no where near the quality of actual disney production or broadways stuff, but bla, for its price it was still pretty good. We had all you can eat sushi afterwards. Since we ordered too much we had to hide some food in the end.

Let's see... what else to say? Oh right I saw Tony yesterday for the first time since... I don't know when. We talked for a while outside at the gate. It was semi awkward in the beginning cause I think we both don't know how exactly to act. I almost left right away.

I also left Viv's gift at her door since no one answered the phone or door... Though I must have just missed her (okay, I have to admit that's very optimistic thinking there) cause she replied my text msg almost right away after I left.

I worked quite a bit the past week. It was okay I guess. Everything was moving along really slowly cause lots of ppl went on vacation already.

And oh yes... Welcome to NHK fansub is now complete! I saw episode 24 sub (I saw the raw last week already) this morning and it was really awsome. That was a great end to a great show. Episode 11 of Code Geass was very impressive too. There's finally some great CC action! I love CC she is so great. Anyone who is willing to say, "man sleep on the floor" to Lulu is awsome. In this episode CC seems to have gained further respect from Lulu, so for that I very happy ~~since I am a LuluxCC supporter~~.

Episode 12 of Iroha was also really awsome. I liked it more than episode 10 even though episode 10 has the awsome animation. I am not going to rave about it here, since I think Wao already did my share of fanning adaquately for this episode on the animesuki forum.

So in short this week has just been a remarkably awsome week. I hope I get to enjoy similar awsome weeks in the future.

Obsession / Finals / Separations

2006-12-13T13:36:00.000-08:00

I am completely and utterly obsessed with this anime called Bakumatsu Kikansetsu Irohanihoheto. Along with Wao, we created a fansite: http://irohaheya.blogspot.com/ As you can see we are both way too much in love with this series ~~and with Akizuki-sama~~.

I had 4 finals done, and on Friday I will do my last one. i am super scared about this because it's econ and we all know I can't do econ.

Onto the real reason why I am making this update.

All my friends seem to be leaving. I am kind of depressed over that, I have to admit. First was Vanessa, and then Craxy_Inc and Ynnej, and then now it's Antho and A.'s turn.

I am shellshocked really, I knew about A, a while back, but Antho? No, no, THAT is a total surprise. I mean, I knew he would go on a work term else where one of these days, but I didn't think it would happen this quick. But in deeper consideration, it is actually something I should thank God about because for the last few months he has been hating school pretty bad. If he stays in school for another term I think he may actually quit. A work term away is probably exactly what he needs.

I will see them both before they leave for sure and that makes me happier (actually, now that I think about it, the fact no one else at church seems to know the news last night makes feel happy too [although he probably just told me because I was on line and he was excited about his new job]).

On the bright side, now I have someone to see Beauty and the Beast with. I was going to to see the musical with or without a companion - I have been looking forward to see the musical for a while, ever since I read the original Beauty and the Beast back in September - but having someone to see it with definately make me look forward to seeing the show even more.

New Addictions

2006-10-15T08:24:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am back.

A short talk abotu my new addictions before I go back to doing accounting homework.

I am a newly made House addict. I love that show. I love the characterization of Dr. House, and I am pro House/Cuddy for some odd reasons... I guess I just think Cameron is not mature enough for House? I don't know.

Anime wise.... I am falling in love with Welcome to NHK! It's totally awsome. Lovely people interaction. Totally not just a perverted guy anime that I thought it was.

I also really like Code Geass. I love the main character -- It's like having Arthrun as the main character in Gundam Seed -- except better. So many days I have hoped for a main character like Arthrun in a mecha show, and here it is!

I watched Deathnote the anime episode 1 and 2. They were pretty good, but even now I can't wait till dear Kira dies. Heh. I really don't like little kiddies who got more power than they can handle. Unfortunately that's what happened in Light's case. Good thing Near will put an end to everything.

Oh yes, I also read a bit of the interview with the Deathnote author/artist. When asked who they think are the smartest. The author said L and the artist said Near. That's right! Light is NOT the smartest even to the makers. It's down to L and Near. They are the smartest of them all because despite not having the power to kill everyone with a pen and a notebook, they still figured out who is Kira and in the end put an end to Kira.

I totally think L would have won if he was working alone and not with those incompetent police officers who demanded proves for everything. L is the prove, since he is never wrong. He is like Dr. House of Deathnote. They should have trust him to begin with, it would save the world from just that much more grief.

Been neglating this, anime evolution

2006-08-20T23:30:00.000-07:00

I will go to Anime Evolution tomorrow *gasp in absolute shock and amazment*

Anyway, I have been neglating this. Since last time I wrote I have been to Oregon on this somewhat chaotic/diasterous trip and Victoria day trip with John and Kenneth -- that was fun.

I will try to post something tomorrow.

Lebanon

2006-07-31T12:30:00.000-07:00

I don't like wars. If I can have my way, people would never fight.

Yet, I think US and Isreal's demand: disarmament of Hizbullah is completely unreasonable and unrealistic. How can peace be reached with an agreement that benefit one side in particular? In deed who in the right mind would give into such a condition? Didn't we learn from the world wars that peace can only be obtained through equalization of power? We need everyone with a balance of power, not Isreal with a better army then other countries in the middle east.

At the same time, I am not naive enough to believe an immediate cease fire suggested by the UN would solve all problems. Peace would resume for a few weeks, perhaps, but how long would it take until suicide bombing begins in Isreal again? A month? Two weeks? Especially considing the turn of event in the last few days, the radicals have a practically legitimate reason to suicide bomb Isreal to oblivian! It's human nature to desire revenge on acts they deem unjust.

In fact, the whole war really began with revenge didn't it? Lebanese hated Isrealites for occupying their home a few years ago. So they let the more radical fraction to mature and watch silently at those people suicide bomb Isreal. Isrealites hated Lebanese for the random killings on their streets. So when Lebanese decided to kidnapped a few Isreal soldiers and refused to return them, they just gave Isreal an awsome excuse to take revenge. And obviously, after so many kids got killed in yesterday's bombing...

A vicious cycle.

And really, I think they only way for this to ever end is if both party invovled agreed to disarm a bit and let a third party play referee. Of course, even that probably won't last, but at least we may see peace for a few nice years.

Blogs

2006-07-06T21:30:00.000-07:00

I have decided to start writing in topics (at least on some days), because that's what Henhen is doing.

I digress... today's topic is on why I keep coming back to type entries onto this page that I think no one reads.

As with many other subjects, there are many reasons to why I blog.

Here's the ugly though perfectly honest reason #1: I can't get myself to say everything I want to say in real life. There are barriers even between my best friends and me. I can't tell them everything. No, not everything. Many things, to some even most things, but not everything.

The internet does provide me with a sense, however false, of security, of confidentiality. I can type more freely on line because the web is such an impartial/detatched media. I always feel somewhat removed/detatched from real life when I type on the internet so I find I can also say more of what's in my mind, slight, but still more. Of course, I can't type everything I want to type on this page either becuase I fear those who knows me in real life may one day inadvertently find this page/or I unwittingly in a moment of mindlessness direct them to this page.

Now the question that may be on your mind is: So why the hell do you even bother publishing entries when you don't want your friends to read them?

The answer is simple: if I don't publish these entries then writing these entries would be just like talking to myself. As narcissistic as I may be, I think I have enough talk with myself after filing for 7 hours day. Even if no one reads these entries, at least I can have the illusion of actually expressing myself to another human being.

As for dangers of pouring my life into a blog... I have to admit, writing in a blog, and letting everyone reply at times it reminds me of Harry Potter book 2 where Ginny writes in the ominous diary that eats the ink of her words and spit out mysterious replies to her entries. Yet, I just can't see a way web predators people talk about can use what I type here to their advantage.

Let's see what people can tell by reading my entries: that I am a female who is periodically depressed about school, cynical about love though deep inside wish wholeheartedly that one day she can witness pure love untarnished by betrayals, unfaithfulness, lust, greed, lies and everything else that can tarnish love, directionless and confused about the future because she is not particularly good at anything, loves and hates her job and school at the same time, conservative and careful by nature about important decisions in life, but careless about things she deems useless/meaningless in the greater scheme of things, plague by guilt, though outwardly/vocally blames others for her mistake, secretly she attributes all mistakes to herself, very self-conscious.....

In other words, an extremely boring person.

Who some may say does not take enough chances in life, they are probably right. But living on the wild side would mean not being myself so can can I betray myself that way?

Sitting

2006-07-03T21:57:00.000-07:00

Sitting out door under the shade on a warm sunny day is fun.

That was what I discovered after a weekend at Alice Lake where other than some afternoon activities and eating all I did was sit. I am quite upset at the fact I have never realized that until now.

The weekend was rather enjoyable in my opinion. It totally beats five hours of non-stop filing. But then again, many things beats filing.

On friday night, after eating with K, J and V, walking around the mall with them, dealing with Vivien's abrupt tears, picking strawberries, I packed up for my trip. At around five thirty-ish I met A, J and A at church and joined the long week end rush hour to Alice Lake.

By the time we arrived it was past 8 so I didn't do much that night, just went down the the beach and looked at stars. I felt odd looking at stars. The knowledge that everything I saw are no more than projections of what they actually looked like millions of years ago always make me feel rather insignificant and small. It reminds me that I don't matter in the greater scheme of things.

On second day, I hiked up the Chief. I feel somewhat cheated now that I read about it on line. Those who have hiked the Chief before told us the hike up should only take 45min. Well what liars they were. I bet you they only said that to get the less athletic people (ie me) up the Chief with them. As you can see on that page I linked up it clearly said the hike should take 3 hours... that's double the time. On some other pages I have googled they even estimated 4 hours.

The view on top of the chief was truely spectacular, I have to admit, but then the trip up and down were truely hellish. Work and school had gotten me out of shape, and I know that for a fact because I almost fainted (everything turned so blissful black) less than 1/3 way up Grouse Grind because I tried to keep up with those more athletic than myself.

Well I learned my lesson and this time I took it slowly, stopping consistantly every once in a while.

To my pleasant delight, since others were also fooled into going up the cliff like me, this time I also have a whole bunch of out of shape people to rest with me. I did not need to fear falling/rolling down the mountain/losing my footing/tripping/fainting with no one around me to call 911 while crawling my way up to the top with my abundant imagination.

Obviously didn't do much after that. I was totally spent from the hike. Talked to the girls about guys in the tent on the first night and second night. The talks always amuse me. Estrogen overloaded environment is always... interesting. All that can result is an one hour + talk about guys guys guys guys guys guys guys..... etc. You get the idea.

On Sunday I the afternoon activity was swimming. I need a new swim suit. Something more... flattering? Perhaps. Definiately something newer. The elastic aged and consequently the whole suit seemed to be falling apart. Not to mention it was a sucky swim suit to begin with. The swimming in itself was good, I suppose. I felt odd swimming after not swimming for so long. The moment I got in the water my body moved on its own without my command. I felt nostalgic. Swimming was such a big part in my life for so long, getting in the water again made me remember what a big par of myself I have given up by quitting regardless of how gradual that process may be.

Nostagia aside though, the trip was still rather pleasant. I probably will go again next year, I think. Hope A will go again too. I think I feel more at peace when he is around.

For some odd reasons I got about 5 mosquito bites on my left leg but none on my right. 1 mosquito bites on each of my wrist and 4 on my back.

John's birthday celebration, work

2006-06-26T12:51:00.000-07:00

John's bday celebration yesterday, I spent way more money than I ought. Bought a rather expensive coat, and then ate at various places, and then I had to get something for John's birthday. Over all I spent over 100. God damn it, there goes a whole month of budget. I will have to lay low on snacks and stuff for a few weeks because of that.

Good thing Kenneth is leaving to hk so I won't be going out as much as before, hopefully, although I am by no means confident of that. I already made way too many plans.

I went to work today, it's another day of filing. Christine promised me more interesting work than filing when I took this job, but so far she is only doing a semi-okay job at keeping her promise. The pay is good, so I am going to keep going, obviously, but I have to admit the meaninglessness of my work is starting to bother me. Filing is okay, but I am filing things that are last piority in the office. Honestly, some of those files have not been touched in years. What the hell is with that? Even Irene admitted she never thought the filing necessary and wish they would just change everything electronic.

For good reasons, my work at the moment is reminding me of the job that guy in Nineteen Eighty-four had.

New Layout and Songs Download out. Reading interest lost.

2006-06-24T11:03:00.000-07:00

After playing with this layout for so long, I finally got everything down more or less the way I envisioned. For the first time in my life, my blog layout background picture is actually drawn 100% by yours truely. I have to admit; however, that this picture is inspired by the opening of Kamisama Kazoku. I like that anime, it's such a feel-good, cute, funny anime that for some reasons reminds me of summer.

I loaded a few songs up for download. I will periodically change the songs posted here.

As well, I know how annoying background music can be to some people, so I actually made the play bar visible. If you want to turn off the music YOU CAN.

I lost interest in the book I was talking about the other time abotu 1/3 into the way right after their got married. So I stopped reading.

Reading, new layout

2006-06-20T12:27:00.000-07:00

My new layout for this blog is 90% finished. i am just trying to make the layout more friendly for people with different internet surfers.

Anyway, I am reading right now, have been for the last two hours. This book is called The Misted Cliffs, a fantasy novel. I suspect this book is targetted to the female audiences. They have your tough on the outside but inside vulnerable male lead who just so happened is darkly handsome. And then you have your strong tomboy female lead, freespirit who can fight and be do magic at the same time. Oh, right, they are both royalties...

The book is not particularly well written, it reads like something I may actually write myself (minus tense confusion but plus a few incomplete sentenses). It's on the library's hot and new list though, and its on for a reason: it does its purpose well. Basically, I find myself with an urge to "awww" at least when ever I reach a monologue of the male lead. The female character did not make a deep impression on me though, unfortunately. I suspect my opinion of her will improve though after she rescue her dark prince from his darkness.

The author, Catherine Asaro has a MA in physics and a Ph D in chemistry so I have to respect her. I hope I will be able to get a second degree too, possibly a Ph D if I find passion in a certain area. I hope I am smart enough for that.

Summer is Here!!!!

2006-06-16T12:08:00.000-07:00

Summer school ended for me. I don't know how I did in my test, but how ever I did i can totally be in denial until the marks come out. I don't think I failed my exam, and even if I did I will get a 67 percent final mark so it will definately be better than Japanese (yay). I am of course aiming for higher though. Obviously.

Now in the rest of the summer all I have to do is work, work and work!!! Joyous isn't it?

Not that I am not thankful for getting my job, but work is something you want when you don't have any and don't want when you do. Ooo wouldn't that make a good riddle?

At least I don't have to stress over exams and assignment for another two months! Woohoo!

Alcan Dragonboat festival is this week end. It will be the first festival for me where I don't have to worry about finals at the back of my mind. This also means I can invite my friends to go there for the first time, since they are are in my grade, and also don't have to worry about finals this coming week end. For the first time since I joinned this festival, I am truely excited.

Henhen is coming back next month, I can't wait to see him. He will have as much free time as me so we will be hanging out quite a bit for sure. i will also go visit Steph who had moved out of her house, and I am sure that will be fun. Hopefully I will be able to meet Somnifer for a few more times before this summer ends too. Too bad K is going to HK for a while, but hey at least I can meet J out when ever I am bored since I think he is not going to HK. lol.

And guess what?! Maybe I can even change the layout of this page this summer. It has looked like this for a long long time now, and I really don't mind a fresh change. I am thinking of drawing some original art sort of thing for the layout this time. Woot.

I will need to help Josie out a bit. I am not totally looking forward to that since helping her is almost like volunteering for me. ^_^;; Actually, I would rather volunteer than help Josie out just cause it's less hard work. See? I am lazy.

My week

2006-06-05T12:29:00.000-07:00

Had one busy week.

On friday, I had my second comp sci midterm. I didn't do that great, got a B, somewhat disappointing. I got the concept of println wrong. I thought println print stuff on a new line but really it's printing and then make the next line become a new line. But I am not too angry or depress over that because I think there's still a good chance I can pull my marks up. And in any case, I think I can safely bet now that my final marks will be much higher than Japanese 100, so no matter much, taking this course is more than worth while.

On Saturaday, I went to dragonboat regatta, I finally got my team shirt. The logo looked nicer on the computer, but I think I can't complain too much because the logo still looks pretty good. The shirt is very long, so the printout of the dragon is literally on our butt. I guess it's fitting since our team is call "Draggin' Butts" (yes, it's meant to sound like Dragon Butt). We didn't do too bad this year. I think our time is considerably faster than last year, which is awsome, in my opinion.

On Saturaday, I also did my final for Chinese school, dropped of my passport at Chinese Cultural center, and went to CrossRoad. I did not want to go to CrossRoad mostly because for one, I was tired and i wanted to just vegetate at home and play Untold Legends, for another, I knew the activity was Oz giving us a whole sunday school lesson on saturaday (and I was totally correct). Despite my complaining my mother's non-stop nagging convinced me to go anyway. I refused to take any notes there since I knew I would never read it anyway. I wondered why all the other people there seemed so ethusiastic about listening. I did not understand why they find what was said so interesting. Although maybe I should because Oz is the one who lent me his PSP.

I played Untold Legends for possibly 15 hours in the last two days. I think I am wasteing way too much time on this game. This sunday, I promised myself I will return that PSP to Oz.

Tomorrow I will be meeting A and D for dinner. It's for their birthday. I am going to get a very small icecream cake for them. I need to plan out how to get to where ever we are meeting though without the icecream cake completely melting. I hope it will all work out.

Jyu oh sei

2006-05-31T22:02:00.000-07:00

Jyu-oh-sei: An anime. Based on a manga series drawn by Itsumi Natsuki under the same name. Produced by Bones. An under the radar anime that not enough people watch despite its absolute goodness.

I am writing this not just to advertise for this anime, that is still part of my intent obviously, but also because I am dying to give reply to a few posts on the Jyu-oh-sei forum at Anime Suki. I know the whole story already because I read the manga but I never gave those people definate replies because this is one of the few series I don't want to spoil other people for. So, take that as a warning. If you don't want to be spoiled, don't read what I am about to say....

I think that's enough warning don't you think?

Here's a post:
I think something will happen between Karin and Thor. If a guy goes out in a snowstorm or blizzard just to save you, most of the time, you'd fall for that guy, especially if he's young, handsome, has silver hair, kind, the Top of his ring, and benevolent. Chances are, him banging her is very, very possible.

Here's my inner response:
In my opinion you are also somewhat in denial considering all those foreshadowing in the opening... well at least the fall in love part. Lust =/= Love. Furthermore, remember Karin loves Zagi (who also happened to be young, handsome, has silver hair, top of his ring, and kind in his own odd way) best.

Here's a post concerning episode 7:
For all that Thor in this ep says that he wants to always be with Tiz, then why won't he have a child with her when the next...whatever you call it comes around?

Here's my answer:
In episode 7 Thor still thinks of Tiz as family not a woman in her own rights.

Here's a good question:
I have a quick question about the science behind the aging process on Thor's colony. If it is a simulated Earth then why is their age affected so signifacantly, especially since they have the same technological advances, supposedly, against diseases and what not?

Here's the answer:
Earth died a long time ago. Thus, people of the Earth, built to live on Earth and not colonies are also dying. People on the Beast Planet are not dying because their DNA have mutated and evolved to suit the planet's environment because in that world it is survival of the fittest, and thus only genes suited for life on the planet gets passed on to the next generation. Technically they are not humans, but a new species similar to humans. People on the colonies never evolved because they depended way too much on science.

Someone commented:
...Really, she (Tiz) doesn't get the freaking hint that Thor is Not. Interested. In. Having. Babies!!

Here's the answer:
In Tiz's world, a world where success = survival, and later passing down of genes/reproduction, males would only refuse to have babies with you if they hates you. Females can choose who to mate with though. So that's why Tiz is so confused. On one hand Thor keeps saying he loves her, and then on the other hand he refuses to sleep with her. Thor is technically an alien on this planet, remember, his logic differs from the people born and raised on Jyu-oh-sei. It's as much Tiz does not understand Thor as Thor does not understand Tiz.

A good comment by someone that people should keep in mind:
But there are a unique alien society, an interesting new way of looking at gender, strong female (and ex-female) characters, and a lot of angst. In addition to the unusual music and unique character design. And there's one way in which it resembles Noein: the sakuga is really inconsistent from week to week, but very artistic.

Comment:
Yes, it reminds me Noein for some reasons too. I think it's the fact both are science fiction shoujo series.

Movies, etc.

2006-05-26T23:47:00.000-07:00

I saw MI3 two nights ago and I saw the Da Vinci Code tonight. Both movies were decent but definately no master pieces.

MI3 was as expected, a movie with non-stop action... well almost. Tom Cruise did pretty good in the movie all considering, I suppose, but his Sciencology dealings had turned me decidedly against him for a while now. I did not like the female lead, she bores me. I liked the fact they made a turely multicultural agent team. Oh yes, I found the Chinese hilarious. The Cantonese that Chinese woman spoke was so horribly accented. The two Chinese words Tom Cruise said was completely a joke.

As for Da Vinci Code, I have to admit I am somewhat of a Tom Hanks fan. Not an obsessive fan, or course, I mean I don't rush to see his movies, but I definately have a pretty good opinion of him. So for me to say the movie is mediocre says volumes. The over analysis of everything amused me quite a bit. Especially the 'Chalice' symbol. I liked the fact we get to see some nice art pieces. I thought the woman lead was slightly unemotional, but I think English may not be her first language so that may be the language barrier part. Oh yes... Sir Leigh Teabing had a few good lines. I especially liked how he asked three questions in the beginning.

More Rage

2006-05-25T11:29:00.000-07:00

I don't know what's wrong with me these days but I am so angry all the time. Sometimes I am angry and I don't even know why. My anger is not even directed at anyone or anything. I am just angry.

I am kind of scared of myself because of that. Just the past week I had two anger spells, two instances when rage inexplicable just took over. They not only took people around me by surprise but they took me by surprise too. On the first instance I basically screamed at my friend for unjustifiable reasons. The second time I got angry at a Fido's representative because he cut the line after telling me to wait for five minutes and I pratically threw the phone across the room.

I feel like screaming and yelling and stomping and generally just being unsociable and unpleasant all the time, even when I am smiling or laughing some part of me still stirs. This really worries me. I am worry one of these days I will snap where impression really matters. Smiling is so hard when I am less happy than I should be. Being angry is so easy when everywhere may be a potential instigator.

I hope this is just a phrase. I hope this passes soon just like everything else. I don't know how I can cope if this worsen.

RAM and headphones.

2006-05-12T21:01:00.000-07:00

I got more RAM yay!!!!

Before I only have 512MB of RAM for my PC which as we all know is absolutely not enough especially when I have a 3.0gHz processor. The ram speed things up a good bit. Still not perfect, of course, but at least I can actually do some video editting on my comp now. Woot!

Also, while down in Future Shop to pick up those wonderful, brilliant, terrific, fabulous RAM I also picked up some new headphones. I am now the proud owner of a pairs of Panasonic RP-HS11 headphones to go with my Panasonic SV-SD100V mp3 player.

But of course, if you are ever going to get a mp3 player for more than looks then NEVER buy the SV-SD100V. This player is the most user unfriendly mp3 ever created in the world. It requires a music convertor to convert your music into Panasonic's own special file type, kind of like an ipod. I would not mind that much if the program actually works relatively well like itunes. However, this program - SD Junkbox 5 does not like mp3 files - it either refuses to load them onto the program period and even if you somehow managed to load all those mp3 files on to the program, chances are transferring those files onto your your player means a 30% chance of completely corrupting your player so that you have to reload everything on ALL OVER again.

What I find works best with this dumb program is WMA... which is not the world's greatest audio file type around as we all know. However, since it's the only kind of files that works, I am force to convert all my awsome mp3 into wma before loading it on junkbox so it can convert the files to yet another kind of files before loading it on my mp3 player. Talk about indirectness, difficulties, complications, time consuming, poor usability.

Talk about irony.

A mp3 player that doesn't play mp3.

To be fair, this mp3 player does look very pretty, is very light, surprisingly durable, and produces high quality sound.

So I gues it's a trade off. This player looks very unique and really does stands out in a crowd. It's just also extremely hard to use. A tradeoff. Fair or not depends on you. For me, I am willing to stick with all the inconvinences because I tends to destroy bad quality players really easily. I believe this player may actually be my first player that survive more than four months of constant battering usage by me. This speaks a lot in my opinion.

Okay anyway, back to raving about my headphones... They are very nice and light. The frequency range is pretty large and the sensitiveity is pretty good too. I would rave more about them but then I must go now.

Sasuke showed his face!!!!!!!

2006-05-11T13:17:00.000-07:00

I my God Sasuke showed his face! Sasuke showed his face! Sasuke showed his face! Sasuke showed his face! Sasuke showed his face! Sasuke showed his face!

72 chapters and almost a year and a half after Kishimoto let Sasuke last show his pretty face, we finally get to see him. Sadly, Kishimoto suffered from another attack of the can't-draw-people-in-proper-proportion-in-crucial-time syndrom and gave Sasuke a pointed and disproportionally small head.

In response to that disappointment I redrew Sasuke in the right proportion for fun.

As well... I doodled a Sakura for this happy occasion.

Help

2006-05-08T23:59:00.000-07:00

Help. I think I have been more depressed the more time I spend in university. If you know how to cure depressions please tell me.

Marks always get me depressed. The only time that did not happen was when I found out my IB predicted. I really thought I screwed up back then but I did not. But that was over a year ago and it has been a while since I feel that way.

My 4 big problems:

1. I am not good at anything practical that I can actually earn money from.

2. I can't write final exams. That really is a big problem. I mean how can you go through university without such an ability? But honestly, I get pretty high marks in most of my courses until I go into the finals. I just don't get it.

3. I have an inability to absorb verbal information a lot of times. My brain just shuts down.

4. I can't concentrate to study properly.

I am so angry at myself.

I think it is total bull shit that atheists think people believe in God because they are depressed and are in dire need for help. It's not true at all. If you are going to believe anyone's words about that, believe me. I have been going to church for almost a decade and spiritually I think I have gotten absolutely no where because some part of me is also insecure and depressed and angry at myself for all the things I have done, have not done, should do but could not do. Sometimes I wish my parents never got converted. I wish I have never been introduced to church. At least then I won't be having as much conflicted feelings.

If any church people are reading this (of course none of them will, I have only mentioned this site to two people there and they are not blog reading type) then take this as a cry for help. I am really on the verge of giving up. For those who actually follow this blog (there may be one or two), I am sorry about repeating this in the last few entries. It must be done though. I believe in fair warnings. If God really does exist and he really does care then he would let some of those church people know. I want someone to convince me otherwise, to prove me wrong.

And please, someone tell me how to forget a person, or at least not think about the said person a lot. It's not healthy, I think, to think about a friend this much. This took me by surprise because this... fascination has developed so slowly. (I am being vague just in case someone who actually knows me read this).

Faust

2006-04-27T23:42:00.000-07:00

Watched Faust the Opera today. Yes. Opera. You read right.

Story wise, I think the play is better, but the music, lighting, stage props/setup is absolutely brilliant in this opera.

Please excuse my angry rant

2006-04-26T23:01:00.000-07:00

Finals ended. I would be over the top happy except I know I will have to work tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, meaning I still have to go to UBC AND summer school is starting in a bit more than one week AND I don't want to know how I did in any of my tests.

I really have no idea. I hope I did relatively well. I am not asking for perfection but at least above average. I don't want to be average and I don't want to be below average like I was in Japanese. Honestly, I don't think I am below average in the four classes I took this semester, but you never know how much you may screw up in the final.

I have studied quite hard for the econ test though, so if I screwed this test up too badly I would be quite angry. Please, God, have pity on me and let the TA who marks my test be in a very good mood when marking my paper.

I think one of these days I will go to Kenneth's church and do a confession. I don't know why, but I have always liked that idea. It's a ritual, quite unnecessary in the protestant point of view but I think that exact point is one of my twisted motivations. I suppose, it would be an act of rebellion, how ever small, against the church I have been attending in the last 9 years of my life (yes i am pitiful, and i know it. rebelling against church by going to a confession is a messed up concept and to outsiders not a rebellion at all, I know.)?

Lately, I have been rather cynical and weary view about church. I don't really want to go any more and the only string tying me to church right now is friends... okay perhaps a particular friend... Haha if he knows it would be somewhat awkward. In truth, I just like talking to him.

Though i think he finds me annoying but is too polite to say anything.

Went to the Pride and Prejudice forum the other day and those people discussed about sex. Wow what a sex-starved society we live in today! People no longer understand the concept of platonic love before marriage and abstinence. They still exist. Just because there are many people who sleep with each other at an early age, doesn't mean everyone does it. God.

I read/skimmed Hot Gimmicks for escapism from finals and because too many fanfictions give references to that manga series. I don't like that series at all. The guys in that series only think about sex. God, please tell me that's not the only thing real guys think about all the time. Tell me they think about other things.

Oh and Deathnote is finally ending. Yay. Light is dead. I am not unhappy I must admit. Light fans are going bullistic. That's funny to watch. Come on people, Light is meant to die from day 1, don't be in denial anymore and say that this manga will have an extra arc or that the death god just wrote his name on a fake deathnote. LIGHT. IS. DEAD. Near lives. Near wins. We know Near will win because the author made Near much more likeable and must less psychotic by redrawing Near in all of his early scenes. He is meant to be a more honourable and considerate person than Light and L and Mello. It's done for a purpose. It's done so he can actually stand as a sort of symbol of wisdom and voice of the author (ie) he values life, he doesn't believe in death sentenses, he doesn't believer Kira is right, he stands by his believes, he knows about the relativity of justice, he doesn't lie. I would write a longer essay on that except I have already exeeded my Deathnote essay limit in forums.

Wow! I don't even know I have that much anger in me but I do. I am sorry if my post is not my normal thoughtful post but an extremely angry rant.

Now for something less angry...

I saw Aren today. We talked about the story again. His drawing skill is improving. Mine is too. But he is definately improving and probably more. He is a really amazing artist. His brother is really funny. He laughs a lot and is quite delightful in that respect.

Jenny left for China. I hope her a good life. I may go to China too if I am lucky enough to be chosen to go to this trip -- only a few can go. It would be so awsome if that happens. I think the chances are quite slim though. But man I have not wanted something so strongly for a while. If I get to go, I can totally understand the whole Christian concept of "God's plan." I won't go so far as to say I will go and get beptized. Of course not, but the event will definately be filed away as a possible prove of God.

Good Day

2006-03-29T13:59:00.000-08:00

Er. Took the test. Am shell shocked. Apparently the average is suppose to be 35%. It's suppose to 'bring us to the real world.' More like stab us a million times and step on us.

Anyway. Uncle Tree is here! I get to see my figures and manga the moment I get home. Yay!

I haven't been keeping up with my anime news these days. But the other day I actually found out about the release/future release of 2 animes that are sequel/remake of 2 animes I loved: Hellsing Ultimate and Hack//Roots.

I have seen the first episode of Hellsing Ultimate since then, and it was very brilliant. It was so much darker than the series.

As for .hack//Roots. It looks much darker than .hack//Bracelet and serious like .hack//sign. The character looks bad ass instead of a wussy like Tsubasa. Not that I don't like Tsubasa, but he is still a wuss.

Tree, test and etc

2006-03-27T09:33:00.000-08:00

Uncle Tree is coming in two days (Tree is a part of his real name... although, I have always thought of it as a partial nick name since he is rather tall). I am going to clean my room today. Yesterday, I started by rearranging my bookshelves. I love cleaning bookshelves, it always make me feel very accomplished and very good (yes, I love my books).

On Friday I missed the math test, and will be writing the make up. I was not feeling well, but I wonder if it's because I have willed myself sick or what? Well either case, I get to write it on Wed.

Aged

2006-03-20T18:04:00.000-08:00

I feel old.

I ate all you can eat sushi with friends yesterday. Henry is back for the week, it's very nice to see him after so long. It's very nice to see Benny and Derek too. I haven't seen Derek since forever. I got to hang out with Laina and Bonnie too, which was really nice.

They headed to my house after dinner. We did our separate thing. i watched episode one of North and South with Laina. Bonnie was bored to death I think.

Yesterday night was very nice in general. Until Chris phoned me and told me accounting homework is due today... ^_^; I had absolutely no idea. Thanks Chris!

Uncle Tree is coming soon. I can't wait because when he does, I get to get manga and comics. =D I can finally read the ending of DAQ!!! Yay!!!!!

On less happy thought, I have an essay and math test on Friday. Yicks.

Characters

2006-02-24T15:39:00.000-08:00

I have finished Conard's Life in a big rush so I didn't actually get everything in the book, but what I did get definately made me smile more than I should. I think I will have to read that story again when my midterms end. I am sure I will enjoy it more then.

The book also made me love the Christopher character even more. He is absolutely hilarious when he was a teenager. I thought about how romantic it was for him to marry Millie in the end, and uses the ring made by one of his life as a wedding ring. You have to admit, only women writers would write about something like that in a children book. Guy writers would steer away from romance all together normally.

It made me think about how normal kids act, and how I should portray Arc and Lumeria's in my story in my story. Jeremy asked me what my characters are like. I found them exessively hard to describe perhaps because I don't know them well enough. So these few days I have been thinking about them again. Arc seems way too mature for his good in my head so far. I also want to know why Lumeria wants to be around such an unsocialable person. Especially when she heard all these scary rumours about Arc before and she has so many friends already.

Conclusion: I must know my own characters better.

Books, Valentines, Life.

2006-02-19T23:18:00.000-08:00

I just had my reading break. I pretty much just worked, ate, and studied. I went to Spaghetti Factory with my parents cause they never went before. I had great fun eating bread with them.

I went to the library the other day and borrowed a bunch of children fantasy books (and an adult fantasy book by Andre Norton). I just felt like reading Diana Wynne Jones books because they are so fun and not just for little kids. I am getting into the Chrestomanci series. Christopher and Millie are really cool characters. Of course I love Christopher the most. He really reminds me of Howl in Howl's Moving Castle, except Christopher is not as vain - but he still is, look at his collection of impossibly splendid dress coats. I think I ought to learn his vague look when I have time.

The past few weeks my asthma caught up with me and I have been coughing, very badly last week, acceptably this week. I have runny nose too, and it got so bad I was having nose bleed.

The other day I worked and I got 8 paper cuts from filing. It must be a new record. I am quite proud of myself. I took revenge on the folders by bleeding all over them.

I worked on Valentines day at the flower shop. I got a crappy 8.5 dollars an hour. It was quite a depressing day for me. The customers were all last minutes shoppers and were all in very bad mood. The boss was in horrible mood because she did not sleep the night before making bouquets. I was in a horrible mood because I realize there should be a law that prevents girls my age from working at a flower shop when she did not get any flowers herself. Although of course, that's my doing. I don't really want a boyfriend right now - honest.

I have realized that it must be pretty painful for Anthony to talk to me on msn because of his obsession with correct grammar and spelling. Since I am far from a precise typer, and my messages have so many grammar and equally many spelling mistakes, I can only imagine his pain when he reads what I type. But too bad for him. But screw sympathy - fate gave him the misfortune of knowing me so he just have to live with them.

A bunch of stuff

2006-02-03T15:19:00.000-08:00

I am currently sipping my Tim Hortons Iced Cappuccino with a scarf and knitted yarn hat while gazing out at the cold rain on the other side of the glass and laughing inwardly at people who happen to be outside. There's just something oxymoronic, ironic and boarder line wrong about that, don't you think? Those poor people shivering in the cold and I am willingly sipping in the cold.

Creepy news my mother told me yesterday, my older cousin #2 (I have 2) is now pregnant and will be married in March. It's weird. i can't imagine her as a mother. I just can't. To me, she will always be that too-cool-to-hang-out-with-much-younger-me teenage cousin. I suppose, that's when I most saw her, when she was my age now... but that is 9 to 10 years ago, yet that's how I remember her. I wonder if this is a wanted baby. Or was she really just that stupid?

It came as a shock to me when my older cousin #1 got married and had kids, I mean I shouldn't be all that surprise, seeing she really is A LOT older than me... like 15 years or something like that. But she kept herself really well. Even though she has two kids, so looks like someone without one. On top of that she has a pretty good career. I have always wonder what it would be like to be the daugher of a woman with so much education and so beautiful. It must be quite a life.

Yesterday night, I worked on my resume for a very long time. I don't see how that worked since really the resume was only a page. But for some reason it took me forever. I don't like resumes because it makes me think of the future, and I don't like thinking of the future since I really can't quite imagine myself content. I won't be miserable I suppose, but I will not be happy either. Isn't that a depressing thought?

Yesterday, Jon told me about Ayaka, a Japanese girl he is chasing. I don't know how exactly I feel about that. I don't feel bad. I don't feel happy either. I thought, since I felt so guilty about breaking up that I would feel very relieve and joyous when I he get s new girlfriend. But that's not exactly how I felt. Nevertheless I felt pretty happy yesterday when I talked to him, he sounded very happy, and for that I was happy for him.

After all, he deserves to be happy, perhaps more than me.

Kenneth and Aren told me I am too harsh on myself sometimes. Perhaps they are right. But I think, it's better to be too harsh on yourself than be too easy on yourself. It keeps you accountable for your own actions, it keeps you from being a big jerk, it keeps you from offending people too badly. You are annoy people with your self consciousness, but they can't hate you too much for it when you don't force this believe onto others.

Well, my medium cup of iced capp is finished so I should stop writing.

A slightly late update

2006-02-01T08:56:00.000-08:00

I updated a bit later than I thought. Anyway. Steven Harper won. Joyous. I heard he got an asthma a few days earlier and went to the hospital. Not exactly a good sign especially for someone as young as my mother.

Today is math midterm. I am somewhat worry, but I studied so we shall see how that goes. I studied the whole day yesterday. I think I studied pretty hard for this considering it is a math test and I usually don't study as much. But partial derivative is something new, so I feel inclined to study.

Hum... class is starting so I should stop blogging now. Till next time.

Election

2006-01-23T18:22:00.000-08:00

Election day in Canada today.

Quite exciting. I want to know the result now. Yes, I know. I am a dork.

I will give a full report when I find out.

Boxing Day

2005-12-26T17:25:00.000-08:00

Merry Late Christmas and Happy Boxing Day!

I had a blast shopping today. Met up with Tony today after shopping a bit. We ate lunch together. It's painful to watch him eat though, cause it looks like it takes so much effort. I feel somewhat guilty but very thankful for being able to eat so easily and quickly. I was happy. He helped me carryed much of my bags, so I was able to walk without killing my back -- He probably has no idea how much joy that brought me.

I have hurt my back while carrying that insanely heavy laptop and text books last term. Yesterday night when i went to sleep my back hurt so much I was swearing in pain -- it didn't bother me until I try lying down. I need to pay a visit to the chiropractor soon if this doesn't improve in the near future.

I hanged out with John/Jenny/Kenneth on the 23rd. It was really fun. I have no idea how much I miss hanging out with them until I hanged out with them. They are awsome people. I feel so at peace and safe while I am with them. We are hanging out again tomorrow.

Anyway, one of my bank card is dead. I need to put some money into that saving account... or I can just keep it moneyless... I suppose that works too.

Over all though, i had a very nice Christmas this year.

Believe

2005-12-23T10:31:00.000-08:00

Here comes another one of thoes extremely vague posts that only the writer can truely appriciate the full meaning behind the words.

Past few days I have been contemplating on my father's words spoken about a week ago concerning how people should not fully believe in anything without a hair of doubt or skepticism. It was something to do with my mother and her easily pursuaded opinion of people. She has a way of liking someone or disliking someone by projecting one particular act that she views as admirable or abominable from a person to his or her whole personality while prompty forgetting the past acts of that person.

A single word from someone she views as trustworthy can ruin her opinion of another. If viewed positively one can say she is the most faithful of my family. For when she believes, she may believe without any reservations.

Father on the other hand, is a man who loves to argue, loves to contradicts the conventional believes. And in sense, he trusts nothing, because everything to him is two faced. When he says he believe in something, it means he believes with reservation, he can never completely trust anyone or fully believe anyone's intentions are entirely virtuous.

Both personalities have their draw-backs but you cannot say which is truely better. Betrayal undoubtedly affect the faithful much more than the faithless. Yet, without a doubt, those who cannot trust anyone or anything fully is bound to the pain of loneliness that the ability to trust no one but yourself invariably bestow.

I am afarid my father's words have poisoned my mind, and in many ways, I find myself as suspicious as I am trusting. I truely wishes to trust, believe in the beautiful words of those around me, but how can I when my father's warnings ring non-stop in my heart? Yet, IF they are true, IF those words are not in any ways white lies, IF I fully believe in them... I imagine I would be happy, much more happy than I am now.

Year End

2005-12-19T09:05:00.000-08:00

I finished my tests.

I wonder how good I am at standing influence. I shall see, I guess.

Test Week

2005-12-12T16:36:00.000-08:00

2/5 tests done.

3 more to go.

Not bad. Not good.

I should be more scared of econ and organizational behavior but I am not. I am really scared of Japanese.

I dropped Japanese from next term time table and fill it with political science instead. I have always liked politics. I will see where this lead me. On plus side, I will actually be in one class with Benny. On minus, I don't know what its about.

I finished English essay finals today, I have to say I think the essays made more sense than the other two I did before. I time managed much better this time than last time and I actually had time left to prove read most of the two papers. I think I will get better marks in these two than those two. But then again, it doesn't take much to get better than C+. My goal is to average a B in the end. I don't know if it is possible, but I can hope.

I did math on Saturaday. It was alright I suppose. I am not sure how I did though. You know how easy it is in making stupid mistakes in math. I have been praying that everyone else did horrible and thus scaling my marks up. Math is being scaled weirdly. I think the test itself is scaled according to everyone who did the test including the 185 (never learned Calcalus before class). After it's scaled, it's the class average it comparied with the class average of the final. If the whole class did better than class average then your whole class get scaled up again. If not the whole class get scaled down. I can always hope a whole 185 class fail the exam. Anthony thinks I am evil. Really I am not.

I can't wait till Christmas. I love the holiday. It's the favorite time of the year for me. I will have to spend quite a bit of money this year though... which is okay I guess after I got that job. Which is not as cool. I am looking forward to the free fondue I won in a bet. I never tried cheese fondue before.

Test and more

2005-12-05T08:06:00.000-08:00

My finals are coming up soon. So I am going to do a week of intense studying... so intense that by the end I am not sure if my brain will work at all.

I am sad that my Math test is on a Saturaday and it just happen to be the Saturaday when I can be building a gingerbread house... Why?! Oh Why?! Oh well... I guess I can make one on my own.

I am worried a lot about my electives. I am very bad at them. Since finals worth at least about 45% in one and 30% in another... I will try my best and see what will happen. Please God let me write some good in class essay!!! *prays*

I am not scared of my math test... although maybe I should be.

Today I plan to read econ book (how dry) and do math questions in the text books (those easy ones that I think will lay the base for doing the harder bonus qeustions in the next few days. I think I will also look at my japanese book a bit, and read the stupid endnotes carefully (I found about about half of my test is on the endnotes).

The other day my mother got attacked by some mentally unstable guy. The mother of that guy got so scared of her son that she drove away from home before this happened and called the police. The guy basically got a rake and tried hitting my mother. In the end the police came and arrested him. Now they are going to force him to move. Irony in all these is that that the home - I suppose it is now the former home - of that maniac is situated on the back field of 2 elementary schools.

Oh it's been snowing here for the last few days. Well not snow but flurries... but even that is VERY rare in early December for us. I wish it would actually stays on the ground, but half an hour drive away, there are places where snow does blanket the ground.

Moviewise, in the last few weeks I saw two movies. I saw Pride and Prejudice (finally) and Harry Potter. Pride and Prejudice was exactly as I expected since I already saw a crappy cam version of this movie. It can be better, but as it is I like it. I was slightly disappointed, but I understand why they did those cuts. As for Harry Potter, I have to say it was a little better than I thought. I liked Krum a lot more than I did in the book, and I liked Digory a lot more in the movie than in the book too. Sadly, they underdevelope a lot of parts in the forth book, but I guess that has to happen when the book is as ridicously thick as a dictionary.

Stupidity

2005-11-24T00:07:00.000-08:00

There are many things I wish to write here. I think I would too except I stupidly gave some people I know in real life the address of this blog. I wish I never told them I keep one. It's okay for stranger to read about what I want to write, but it may offend people I know.

I wish there's a way to keep them from reading this so I can actually write down everything here to vent my emotions right now... but it dosen't seem like that's possible.

As it is perhaps I will keep what I am about to write very vague.

I am contemplating on jealousy and what triggers jealousy.

On human cruelty

2005-11-15T11:53:00.000-08:00

It all seemed like a normal Monday. I decided to go home today after school because I was tired after sleeping for only four hours yesterday and I didn’t sleep very well because I was worried I would not get up. I budged in the line as I normally would if I see my someone I know. I don’t really care if I get a seat or not, but it seemed easier than walking all the way down the winding line for 480. Surge noticed she-who-must-not-be-named. I didn’t really care. She was pretty civil to me in all the times I saw her.

Of course, being civil to a stranger is really not all that hard. All you have to do is say hello.

In any case, what are the chances she would stop right in front of where we sit anyway? Got on the bus. Sat down. Surge swore when he saw you-know-who slowly approaching. By fate, she stopped right where we sat. Ironic, perhaps you can even call it a poetic justice for budging?

I hardly know her anyway, other than seeing her a few times a year and saying hello to her as many times as I have fingers. I saw Benny, so I phoned him to get a ride from him. She started talking. I didn’t hear her. Surge had a weird smile. The environment was quite tense. When I saw some girl who I don't know giving me a sympathetic smile, I know soemthing was wrong. Got off the phone, when I realized she was talking to me I asked what she was talking about. She asked me if I felt bad at the looks I recieved when I budge.

I thought inwardly, I didn't see any looks except for yours. But nevertheless, budging was wrong, so I didn't retort and just asked if she wants my seat. She said no. But if I was to give away my seat, I would only give it to the person who exerted energy on trying to get it. So... I didn't let someone else take my seat.

That's my part in the whole situation, she didn't really care for me, her words were aimed at Jonathon. Surge and I knew that so we just put on our mp3 player and looked away from her. But music really didn't block out the conversation between those two. They were both getting angry and frustrated and pretty soon their exchanged turned sour.

And that's when Surge and I smiled silently in amusement.

Which... if you think about it, is perhaps, even more cruel than the callous words between those two. I mean, their uncivil exchange came from their heightened emotion and they both feel horrible about the conversation. And there I was... smiling.

Worst thing is, I think I will smile again, if something similar happen again. The exchange just amused me.

Just like when my flight instructor told a story about how a man standing next to him was killed somewhere in Central America or South America (I think it's Mexico or Chile) I laughed. It was so wrong... <.< (at least I was not the only one that laughed).

Bill Reid, Japanese, Draco Malfoy

2005-11-10T22:42:00.000-08:00

Awsome. I managed to title this entry with three seemingly unrelated subjects.

I have been reading this brilliant Draco Malfoy fanfiction. I couldn't stop once I began. I don't get why I read Harry Potter fanfictions. I mean I don't even like the last three books, and I don't even want to go see the movie (though I will end up seeing it I have a feeling *sigh*)... but I can't stop reading Harry Potter fanfictions. I don't read them every day of course. But through out the last 3-4 years I have been reading Harry Potter fanfictions on and off, this often takes up the time I would otherwise use to read actual literature.

I do have to admit I believe some of the fanfictions are better written than the actual books. But I have to give JK Rowling the credit for creating the characters, even if she does not use most of her characters to their full potential.

Take Draco Malfoy. There are so much she can manipulate with! Instead, Rowling just left him mostly blank and made him blasphamously cry in a girl washroom with a ghost. A girl washroom of all place! Completely ungraceful and destroyed Draco's reputation as a tough guy.

I suppose you can call me in heavy denial, but hey! It's a story, and I am entitle to be delusional concerning a made believe character.

Anyway, the way Draco Malfoy leads to Bill Reid is that reading that Draco Malfoy fanfiction (by the way it is a Draco/Ginny story) is how reading the fanfiction cut into my Bill Reid essay writing time. I was able to finish the essay on time however, thank you very much to my kind peer editors Aaron, Jon, and Dian.

On to Japanese. I had a Japanese oral test today. I think I did better than I thought I would... which is not that hard. At least I did not have to answer Hai, so desu ne (Yes, is that so?) all the time.

To conclude this entry I will just say I still think Tom Felton is perfect as Draco Malfoy even after all these years.

Floatiness

2005-11-01T22:30:00.000-08:00

Nothing makes one happier than a few well placed praises. Even if they don't totally mean what they say, as long as you feel those praises are genuine enough you can't help but feel special and floaty. XD

Pumpkins

2005-10-29T00:45:00.000-07:00

I wanted to carve pumpkins for a very long time. Mother doesn't like pumpkins though cuase she doesn't like the taste of it, but think it's a big waste if she doesn't eat what I carve out.

Josie gave me 2 small pumpkins this year, and it's perfect becuase it's small enough mother won't feel it is being wasted. So this year, I finally get to carve pumpkins.

The last time I carved pumpkins was when I was in grade 7, and that was not even my pumpkin, it was my little buddy's pumpkin so I didn't get to keep it.

Have a look at my final master piece (my friend made the left one. I made the right one).

Immature

2005-10-22T18:06:00.000-07:00

Friend A said he will ignore Friend B becuase he doesn't like her in the way she wants him to like her. Friend A thinks that will solve all problem. He thinks that would make Friend B stop liking him. Meanwhile, Friend C and I are sort of sad about that decision, becuase we have always thought our group of friends won't break apart for a while.

Does he see how selfish (now Friend C and I will have to see Friend B's depressed face) and childish (he is running away from his problem) he is by doing that?

Death Week

2005-10-20T00:00:00.000-07:00

Just finished my OB midterm at 9:00pm. I had to bus home afterwards so I didn't even get to go home till 10:20pm. Now I am studying for Japanese Midterm.

Watashi wa konban uchi de nihongo o benkyoushimasu (the whole night).

Kami-sama let me live!

Midterm, my destructive nature

2005-10-12T22:18:00.000-07:00

My destructive nature strikes again. My mp3 recharge betary is dead AGAIN! That means I can't use my mp3 player ever again unless I spend tons of money on another betary. It had only been a bit over a month. This is the forth mp3 player I messed up. They all die within 3 months after I first acquire the player. How do I do it?!

On completely unrelated topic. I am actually studying for a test a week in advance. That never happened before. Dear me, I think the sky is falling.

Teachers on Strike

2005-10-07T10:12:00.000-07:00

That's right the teachers are on strike. It doesn't really affect me since I am in university; however, it effects my brother whom still study in high school. The teachers break laws by striking, since the government had legislated that teachering is an essential service and thus deemed striking illegal.

This causes great inconvinece to the parents, and may have some negative consequences on unproactive kids unable to learn on their own. That being said, I do believe, if you really want to learn you can easily learn everything in the provincal without the teachers.

In fact, my brother rushed off to do a school project just now.

Some teachers does not teach. For example, Mr. Ryan gives you crappy notes for 15minutes, and then tells you to read Habden and do questions every class. Nevertheless, I values some teachers. In my text-bookless caculus class, we depended quite heavily on Mr. Peters's print outs.

The teachers talk about rediculous class size. Many parents believe they exaggerate the problem. Many parents believe teachers strikes for their own benefits. My Chinese teachers think good teachers should never consider striking. She believes that teachers should teach simply for their love for the young generations. I respect her for that.

Wages probably play a part in the strike, no doubt about that.

Yet, I refuse to think 90.5% teachers whom voted for job action strike simply for their wages. I cannot accept that 90.5% of the teachers teach for money and not because they like teaching. Some of them can care less of course. But some of them are great teachers who skip lunches to sponsor clubs, and stay after school to help students for no extra money.

Parents don't understand that class size has been a growing problem in the last few years. After the last forced contract, class size noticably got higher. Class size limit disappeared, the art class in grade my grade 10 year consisted of 4 different classes grouped in one (40+ students).

Last year's Mandarin class was a 3 in 1 class, our abinitio (total beginners), SL (standard level), HL (higher level) classes combined into a class. Ms. Ding cannot split her attention into three. The differences between AB and HL is too high to teach together. In the end, the AB students often just sit in the class doing nothing.

My other class did not fare well either. Sometimes we run out of chairs in the beginning of the year, That problem stopped when students began to skip classes, or dropped the course all together. We also don't have enough text books, so in some class we have to share.

Boo to those teachers striking for benefit. Respect goes to the 9.5% whom did not vote yes, and those teachers who are striking because of class size.

For more information

Sudden boost of depression... or not?

2005-10-06T16:26:00.000-07:00

Whoever is most happy is the most prone to disappointment, this must be an universal law. Like mother said, "The greater your hope, the greater your disappointment."

For the last few days I was bothered by my English essay mark. The idea of dropping the class plays endlessly in my head. I gave myself many excuses - my advance credits already, this can drop my core average, I don't like the topics... Theologically, I should improve in the next few essays after reading the comments from my prof. But I am very worried because my past record for in class essays is not good to say the least. 4 out of 5 essays this course would also depend on are in class.

My heart wavers. Giving up takes no effort. Quitting means doing nothing.

But dropping the class would make me a coward. Surrendering is the complete opposite of what I speak against to all my friends. I tell them not to run away from their problems, but here I am thinking of ways to avoid the possibility of failures. What would that make me but the world biggest hypocrite?

If I drop a class because of one essay how many classes will I have to drop in the future? Didn't I say I wanted to write a book one day? Am I going to give up just like I gave up before? You gave up before Crag gave up on you. Why expect him to pay attention to someone who does not even put effort into going to practices? How is writing for an hour in the morning enough? If you care so much, shouldn't you put more effort into it?

If you like something shouldn't you keep at it even it means a million failures? If you are passionate about something shouldn't you be willing to swallow your pride and preserver?

New Job

2005-10-03T15:32:00.000-07:00

Wow I am posting really often these days but that cannot be helped, I just have the urge to express myself in the last few days quite a bit.

You see "one thing leads to another," as the narator in Alchemy by Madeleine Thien says. Or perhaps, even more fitting is the Chinese parable about the old man and his lost horse. The old man lost a horse, but gainned two, the son fell from the horse and broke his leg, but the injury saved him from war. A bad turn can end up being the right one, or visa versa.

Events fit together so well that it is hard to believe everything are simply lucky coincidences. Luck runs out, but inconceivable sequences of events never cease to do their magic. Here I can go into a deep discussion on the implication that my last statement has on fate and free will, but I am not going to go into that.

The point is, I cannot believe how well things are working out. I was quite contented with my $8.50/hr job at the flower shop. It was not hard work, and my boss was very kind to me. I have learned much from her, and the job offered me some pocket money for outings and junk food. In the summer, I worked for quite a bit during the span of a week and a bit. I worked almost every day, and for about 5hrs. per day. I was so happy when in the end of the two weeks, I earned $200 dollars. The sum lasted me through the summer, for all the dinners and movies I went to. It was quite awsome.

I assumed then that I would continue working for 3hrs. a week for the rest of my first year. So, when I applied for school loan, I said I expected to earn $700 in the next few months. By and by, my loan was approved, but just when that happened, I recieved an email from Josie saying she doesn't need me working at the shop any more because she wants her son to work for her, and there went my $700.

I wasn't too sad about it, but I wasn't too happy either. I still have some money left at the bank from last year, so I still don't have to ask my parents for money every time I want to buy bubble tea, chips, candy, etc. But I know eventually I would run out. That's when I heard from Jenny and Regina that you could join a program called work study if you have study loan. Unfortunately, I heard about this rather late, so by the time I actually know about this, most of the jobs were taken.

I applied to about ten jobs a few weeks ago. Out of these ten jobs, included a job I thought I was probably not qualified for but I applied anyway because I thought it would be awsome if I can get it - the accounting assistant posting. But when no one reply I was giving up. So I decided to turn to other fun things to waste time on. I wanted to join up some clubs and get some experience in, but I kept forgetting to bring money to join those clubs. I auditioned for a Chinese drama thing, and all I really wanted was a small part. But they rejected me, even though I was pretty confident I could at least make it in as an extra. I volunteered to help out at the exec of that club too, but they didn't like me enough to reply.

Then, just when life was hitting low point, a woman named Christined phoned and asked if I want an interview. She happened to be the supervisor I wanted to hear from the most since the job she can offer is commerce related. Needless to say I was more than thrill. I wanted the job quite badly for the experience (sounds much better than a helper at a flower shop). The fact the job pays twice as well as my previous job is a bonus. But since I am a first year without any experience I thought there was little chance I could get the job, I hardly dare to hope.

Against all odds, I actually got the job.

Now I look back and I see that if the past did not occur the way it did, I would never have gotten this job. If Josie still needs my help, my nature would not let me consider getting better job and quit for the money. If I did not put I would make $700 dollars this year, I would not regret losing the job so much. If I did not apply for the loan, I would not be able to apply for work study. If I joined many business clubs, I would not have time to work. If I got picked for the drama, I also wouldn't have time to work. If I did not apply for the job because I thought I would not have ghost of a chance for getting it, I would not have gotten the interview... and the list goes on and on.

What can I say but that I must thank the higher being up there that desides our fate for this opportunity?

Sousei no Aquarion Ended, Ueki, Bleach.

2005-10-02T15:26:00.000-07:00

I forgot to say this in the last post, but the only anime I watch raws for ended last week. I am rather sad about that. It was such an amusing (and random) show. The ending was somewhat romantic I guess. I mean after 26 episodes Sylvia and Apollo finally get to share a serious kiss even though they had been a couple since day 1. The ending was sort of unclear on a lot of things. I wish they have an OVA out for this.

And please! Would animeone catch up with subbing?! But I will refrain from further complaining since they just posted up episode 14.

I am excited about seeing a new opening for the Law of Ueki though. The last opening was so good. I hope this new one would be even better.

Bleach is also going to have a new opening this week. This better be as good as the last two opening. I loved the first one, I like the second one, and I hope I can at least like the third one. The singer for the new opening is a band that did a Gundam Seed Destiny opening singer. From that opening, I don't doubt their singing ability, but the art. Everything is about the art for me. If the art sucks, the song sucks too.

Bleach manga is getting back on track. Rukia is back (bless her little soul). She is as kick ass as she was in the beginning (yay!). Ichigo just bought Rukia to his house. There is hope for Ichigo/Rukia yet! Ha! Take that Ichigo/Orihime fans!

As for Naruto. The anime is getting so insanely boring. It is another filler arc. But the episode from the week before is amusing since Hinata is shooting chakra bullets and lazer beams like things out of her palms. So rediculous to look at. But that sounds amusing so I will take Justin's advince and watch that when animeone finally sub it. The manga is alright, Sakura is getting stronger and cooler, Kakashi upgraded his eyes, but very predictable unlike Bleach. I mean who would have thought the popular cliche fanfiction idea - shinigami coming in as students would really become cannon?!

And for heaven's sake! When will Sasuke show up?! I need to see what he looks like 3 years later and I need to see Sakura's reaction to that!

Oh right, I watched this really silly 5 min per episode anime called Damekko Doubutsu. It's about animals with traits opposite to their name (ie. Aggresive bunny). The rabbit is voiced by Sasuke's voice actor. I find this fact very very amusing.

Laptop, life, etc.

2005-09-30T01:31:00.000-07:00

I got a new shiny Dell laptop. Okay, fine, it's really not that shiny, and the stupid shell got scratched after 2 weeks of usage. But it's still new. Comparatively. It's a pretty good comp though for $999.99. It has a 80gig hard drive, Pentium M, 512 ram, etc, basically everything a frequent anime watcher like me needs to download everything. My only complaint is that it has a 15.4 screen, meaning this is very heavy. Since I need to haul it to school for some of my classes, it gets kind of irritating. But nevertheless a laptop is better than no laptop.

I am not a frequent blog reader, but happened to dropped by this artist's little live journal (http://www.livejournal.com/users/fanartist/). I personally think it is one of the better ones I have visited. That girl's life seems very similar to mine from what I can see. She goes to church and talks about church quite a bit, and the best thing about the whole journal is that it is clean like mine (for once, someone don't swear on the blog like me!! *gasp in utter shock*).

I haven't talked about church much these days. So I thought I should at least dedicate one post about church just to show I still go. I don't really know why I go there sometimes, since I always try to do something else other than listening during sermens. Maybe I go because I want to talk to those people there. Maybe I go because it is easier than argue with my parents. Maybe I go because of God's interferance. Who knows? The point is I still go every weekend to worship and often also to fellowship.

I still refuse to take the communion though, or get baptized.

See, logically, I think believeing in a God is beneficial in all ways. If there really is a God then you will be saved, and if there isn't a God it wouldn't matter at all. But still, can't get past something I don't even know what. It is not the fact I don't believe I sinned. Of course I sinned (cheat, lie, hurt people without me even knowing...). Everyone sins one time or another. That's not the problem. It is not the fact I don't believe there is a God either. Life is much more meaningfull and much less absurd if I attribute predestined aspects to a higher being. Even if we are only amusing chess pieces played by the God up there, at least there is a purpose for our existance. If there is no God, then life is just a random possibility, and completely trivial. Okay I can say a lot more about believes I share with the Christian community, but I am not going to go into that.

The point is, for some puzzling reasons, I am a frequent church going for the last 8 years of my life, but I still don't call myself a Christian. Good grief. I think I am insane (Jonathon is wrong, I am insane after all).

Pride and Prejudice Out in UK

2005-09-16T23:34:00.000-07:00

It is out. Oh my God. Can you believe it? The movie I have been waiting for a long time is almost here. Almost.

I have been so anxious about seeing it. Can't wait at all.

University First Year = Me

2005-09-15T19:49:00.000-07:00

Oh my God. Where the hell did my youth go?

I am old! I can't believe I am going to university! It's crazy! Unthinkable. Just a while back I was still worrying about IB, now I am worrying about first year. My God.

I am having a blast at university though. I really like the system. It suits me quite well. To be able to do well if I put my effort into it, not a lot of homework, and for once I get to take classes I actually find very interesting. I like economy. I love learning about how to spend money. I love learning about people's behaviour! It's so cool. It's not so dry like learning about molecules, or organic chemistry, or the le-chatier principle.

I mean come on! I don't even find reading thick text book suck a drag anymore!!

And I met new people. They are all very cool. I also get to see a lot of old friends from Steveston, and friends from RHS. It's totally terrific! I even get to see Carol, someone I haven't seen for a very long time. Wow. Just wow.

Coward = me

2005-08-04T21:52:00.000-07:00

First post in a month and a bit. God that feels like forever. I think it is mostly because this is the first summer I have ever felt so relax. I don't have to worry about anything, no Extended Essay, no feeling guilty because I don't go to summer school, nothing I must learn.

But while this summer is relaxing, I can honestly say, this is my busiest summer holiday ever. Exhibit A, I worked 9.5 hours today (is that even legal?!). Exhibit B, I volunteered in three children summer camp, first two at Nature Park, last one at Geering Up. Exhibit C, I watched 4 movies this summer already (Batman Begins, Sky High, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory), ate all you can eat suchi twice, watched the firework (and subsequently pulled Antho from Joshua, I am such a devil advocate), had three anime marathons that are ove 5 hours long (Derek, Angus, Justin), hanged out with Laina twice (*gasp in utter amazement*), hanged out with Vivian alone twice (*can this be?!*), and tried out Greek food.

Anyway, the above two paragraphs are not exactly the reason behind this entry. The real reason is that I am a complete coward. Being a coward loud mouth is not an oxymoron. You may think it is, but in my case, it is totally natural.

Okay, the thing is Derek - who for the longest time I thought was not interested in girls, and who is so easy to think is invisible, actually said he liked me. =_= I did not react well to that. Started to laugh very nervously the moment he told me. And then avoid me for the next four weeks in person, only replying his e-mail. I don't want a boyfriend, and even if I want one... yeah I guess I am kind of flattered but... no.

Prom

2005-06-30T09:07:00.000-07:00

I feel like a wreck today. Yesterday was my prom, and now I obviously do not have enough sleep having Vivien wake me up at 9 when I slept at 4. Oh well.

Vivien got the job at the airport. I am somewhat jealous, but then I realized one thing. There is really absolutely no way for me to apply for that job if I actually want to go somewhere with my family this summer and volunteer at places.

I don't know why I am still going to volunteer. Really it doesn't all that matter anymore, but I guess it is just something to do. I also have a job too. I am not given too much money for the job, but it is not like I can just up front my boss and say give me a raise. It seems kind of awkard to say that. So minimum wage it is. I don't really mind. She is nice to me and it is not like I am in desperate need of money, just experience in a business, given a small business.

Personally, I do think working in a small business is a lot more useful for a well rounded business experience wise than working at the information desk at an airport, but of course airport seems more exciting.

Travelling will be kind of fun. I am finally going to visit Disneyland, for the first time in my life, very cool. I don't really know what to expect for outdoor camp. Generally I don't like those kids too much, but some of the uncles and aunties are cool people, so maybe I will be okay. PLUS Howl's Moving Castle came, so I can enjoy that book page by page in that five days, along with perhaps One Day in the life of Ivan D----. I still haven't read that and I wanted to.

Oh I may start a web manga with Aaron soon. It seems pretty cool. Storywise I got it developed. So it is nice. It will be about the story playing around in my head for a few years. Based around two equally strong characters who complement each other perfectly.

Prom was yesterday as I said before. I had 2 provincials before that yesterday so I was really rushed. John gave Jenny a necklace and took her as a date. Vivien was sad. I was pretty content and happy. Kenneth was my date, but I am horrible as a date. Got me a corsage that was completely unmanageable, not to mention the flowershop he bought it at was horrible with flower frenshness and corsage design. It's not his fault really though, since he is a guy and how would he know these things right? The one my boss gave me was much nicer and easier to handle, but since I did not want to give any wrong impression I simply didn't wear any corsage for a major part of the night. I don't think he should have asked me, if he had asked someone like Vivien she would probably do a better job as a date than me. But he asked me and I was grateful for that.

Haha anyway, ended up ignoring Kenneth half of the night (I didn't mean it deliberately but that maybe what is what it seemed like), he is rather silent, and I am not one to force conversations to go on for too long. So instead, I talked to Aaron a bit about the comic. I talked to Ian who refused to dance with May (rather sadly), I talked to Nicken who was rather friendly, and I talked with John of course who was preoccupied with Jenny. Oh I managed to talk a little bit with Jeremy and the other John too so I was fully content.

Oh, John was surprising liberal and proactive toward Jenny. I was rather surprised. He hugged her a few times and stuff, and she let him. Very interesting development. I for one is happy for them. But I feel by being so I may be making a certain other person sad.

Some people got rather emotional by the end of the night, but me being an emotionless creatures toward such things, felt absolutely nothing. I mean, it's not like I won't see those teachers again knowing my involvement with Ms. Yasui's dragonboat team. It's not like I will never see those people I want to keep in touch with again either. Meh. I don't really care. I sometimes think I care too little about everything in life. I am also slightly worried that I am too materialistic. I may be, for all I know. Most of my goals in life for now is somewhat materialistic that's why I am going into commerce. I mean come on, there is no such thing as an honest businessman. I have understood this concept since I was young.

Okay I also cut my hair short and dyed my hair. I always liked short hair, and the colouring was done very nicely. Costed my parents quite a bit. Oh dear. I didn't mean to cut my hair this short or dye my hair but my hair was ruined by evil hair stylist below Superstore, so I was forced to find an expensive hair stylist to fix my hair up.

I also got this really nice auntie to do my make up yesterday. It was really awsome. I looked good in that make up. It made my skin look very white and pretty.

New Addition to Collection

2005-06-15T21:53:00.000-07:00

Dad came back from Hong Kong and brought home a whole bunch of goodies. I got 53 new manga volumes!!!! And a new mp3/video thing.

For manga i got Bleach, the Law of Ueki, Chrno Crusade, Naruto volumes I did not have yet, Deathnote volumes I did not hav eyet, Detective Academy Q volumes I did not have yet, and xxxHolic volume I did not have yet.

The Law of Ueki is super good. It is a mix of Shaman King/One Piece art. I love the humour, I love the story, I love the cuteness. The ending is also awsome. Nothing can beat this ending. It is as good as I can hope for. I pratically squeeled every time Ueki think/saved Mori, since he did that very VERY often especially by the end of the manga... hehe. I want to scanlate this manga. But I hate scanning stuff. =/ so I may have to reconsider.

Oh I also went to Tinseltown with Antho to watch Howl's Moving Castle. It is based on an English children's book. I am bought the book at Amazon because it is not avaliable at Chapters, and it would take months for me to get it at the library (8 people is in line for that book for some reason). Sadly, I am going to be wasting 11 dollars to watch the movie again with John and co. during his bday cerebration. Joy, that should be fun... if only I can read the book by that time.

Award Night

2005-06-01T17:12:00.000-07:00

Do I care? Absolutely not. Am I going. Sadly yes. This is the first one I have gone to for a while.

Honestly I don't really want to go. But this teacher who hosted the history contests told all of us to go. She refused to tell us how we did in the contest. She was like, "I promise you it will be sensational." Sensational? Yeah right. Like hell I will get anything. Jeremy Wood or John Lee may get something. They are pretty good at writing and all that. But me? A pig would climb the tree before that happens. I mean for heaven's sake that Canadian history historiography contest's written portion is about swim suits! Swim suits?! What the hell?! What kind of history is that? I know Canada has a short history, but is it really so short that you have to use the revolution of swim suits as the portion that makes up for the most marks?

Anyway. They said I got some awards. I know what they are. I got the service award no one cares about and I got in the principle honour roll that everyone gets in to. It's not special, it is definately not worth 3 hours of my time. Ms. Kinegal thinks service awards are so important, they are not.

I hate award ceremony. You know why? Becuase Award ceremonies are only good if you are the one winning something. In these stupid ceremonies mediocre people like me gets awards that don't matter and are force to watch those remarkably smart people get awards that actually matters. Normally you can almost convince yourself that you are as good as they are because you don't have to know how well they did in tests, and what sort of amazing feast they have accomplished. All you need to know is that you did alright and many people did worst than you, and this knowledge make you feel good about yourself. I tell you, unlike what those teachers tell you, award ceremonies are places where your self confidence can take the lowest dip.

Am I jealous of those people? Yes. I am not even going to deny that. I have been jealous for a long time. Every single award ceremony from grade four till now. I hate going to the award dinners for the swimming club. I hate just going up there and getting the 'AA' award while watching other people go up again and again. And worst of all I never once won any of the lucky draws that would have at least make my time wasted worth it.

Am I whinny right now? Yes. I know I am. I know what other people will say. They will say I have no rights to complain becuase I don't try as hard as those people who are up there getting the awards. That is true most of the time, of course, but meh. This is my blog and I get to rant as much as I feel incline to.

IB exams done

2005-05-25T14:12:00.000-07:00

IB tests are done and gone. I am happy. I am relex. I have never been so relex until after ib exams. I cannot believe how much stress those exams actually put me through.

IB Exams Week1

2005-05-05T17:12:00.000-07:00

Finished IB exam week one. Now I only have another week and a day left. Utter joy.

Let's see, first day of exam, I had an one hour math short answer test. That was really not all that bad. I am pretty sure I got most of the stuff ther correct. Now the problem is really the second day, wednesday when I had my math paper 2 and chem paper 1 and 2.

Let's see... Math paper one... overall I think I did okay, but I did not finish the stupid paper, but it was still okay. Chem on the other hand.... The multiple choice was as tricky as ever, being a HL cource, and the written respond... Why the hell did I not study half life?! WHY?! WHY!? WHY?! *cough* Yeah it was that bad. Part A was hell, I think I did okay on the 2 question of choice in part B though.

A happy thought for my overly troubled soul: I am going to university no matter what, I am going to get above 29 and I know it. In the long run even if I don't get 36 it will still mean absolutely nothing.

Unhappy thoughts aside, I did well in the optional topic paper 3 in chem this morning. Well at least I think I did well. You never know. I find that sometimes the more you think you did well on something in reality you did absolutely horrible and then you find yourself pushed to a corner of self denial and self pity.

I probably did not get perfect, but I did well enough. I went to the library with Kenneth afterwards to study for English exam. But really you can't study for a commentary. As Aaron said the other day, "It is either you get it or you don't." So... yeah. I did my commentary on the passage from a novel called The Loom (yeah I know it is quite a lame title, sort of remind me of sleeping beauty and evil witches). What it was really about was a mother weaving clothes, and in doing so is also weaving out her colourful life. I tell you it is a conspiracy for mother's day preparation. I bet you those evil IB test making chose that passage just to remind us to pay respect to our mothers this weekend.

I can't believe it, but I have realized that when I really want to study, I can. For five days in the last week I have stayed in the library from after school till it closed. My efficiency was much higher when there is no computer in front of me... On tuesday I had the most healthy dinner ever. I went to candy factory to buy 5 dollars worth of candy and then bought one of those Chinese strawberry flavoured egg roll cake with cream for 4 dollars. Candy sort of got gross after you ate half a bag. I saved the rest for the next day. I managed to eat a bunch more on wednesday, but Kenneth ketp bugging me saying it is not healthy so I ended up offering my candy to Vivien. She ate the rest, in a way I was sort of glad.

There are too many movies I want to watch after IB exams. Way too many. I will be broke when I am done. i want to watch Star Wars (who doesn't), Hitch hiker's guide to the Galaxy, Kingdom of Heaven, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Chronicle of Narnia, and Pride and Prejudice when ever that comes out. Nightwatch, Weather Man, and Corpse Bride also look promising. And I still have to go rent Finding Neverland.

As good wholesome anime. I am now watching a few new anime that just came out this month. The two that got me hooked are Sousei no Aquarion, and Law of Ueki. Sousei no Aquarion reminds of Escaflowne, except it is a mordern version. I love the music, and it is much funnier than Escaflowne. I like the character design and there are no overly mellowdramatic war philosophy like that in Gundam series. Thank god. I am getting so tired of hearing people say they hate war but decided to fight anyway.

As for Law of Ueki, I just found it funny. I thought the character design was decent. Sort of remind me of a yugioh mix with Shaman King except with better art and funnier characters. It has good music too... and that's always a plus.

Oh top of that I am watching Bleach, like many people are right now. Bleach is getting so popular right now... so many people are downloading it. I am quite impress. I am also sort of watching Speed Grapher, that is too dark for exam time though. Furthermore, I am sort of following Ah my Goddess, but it is sort of getting boring. They play the same joke again and again, and that main character girl is getting annoying with her perfectness. Naruto is alright I guess, I am kind of starting to watch it again since it is Naruto vs Sasuke fight finally... but after this fight I will not see Sasuke again for many many episodes... so I am not so sure about watching it for long. However, seeing Sakura is getting ultra strong now in the manga means there will still be something that keeps me watching in the future. She better not faint or do something wussy or I will really lose interest in this series.

I am getting my father to bring back a lot of manga when he comes back. I am going to finally get Chrno Crusade, Bleach and Blade of Immortal along with all the new manga for the series I am following so far. It will be fun to read everything when time comes....

But until then.

Test Status: 6 down 9 to go.

Blue Moon

2005-04-15T21:55:00.000-07:00

Spring retreat came to a past. It was pretty good. It rained so the "camp fire" was really lame. Hanged out mostly with Anthony and Angus. I love being sarcastic with them. Justin drew awsome pictures for pictionary. They were classics. Especially the one about necromencer. Anthony apparently enjoy rubbing marshmellow between two fingers and then licking his fingers, yuck. When we were riding back, Anthony and Justin had a Ragnarok monster naming contest. It was really pitiful becuase they named monsters for an hour and a half. I hit Anthony when he annoyed me =P Someone asked me what's with me and hitting people. How am I suppose to answer that?

Odd things happen today. Is it a blue moon day?

Not only am I writing a new entry, I am also rather puzzled. Work was good today. I got bubble tea from boss, and work was pretty light. Josie told the other woman I am good at English, so now I have a chance to tutor this woman's daughter. I wonder how much I should charge her? $12/hr?

Another rather odd thing. Someone asked me out?! *cough* Is that even possible? I am very cynical about this. I think he is just desperate for a girlfriend or something. I don't think this will work out, but I said yes to a movie. I like movie and some good movies are out in May. In any case, I never even considered this guy as someone to be a friend with before. I hardly talked to him. So it is kind of odd. Mean while you have John who totally thinks K and I are an item. It really does not help that I am going to be sitting next to K for a while, and that lately K and I are talking a lot more to each other. At the same time you have Vannessa who thinks A and I are an item. I mean I cannot say what she think is completely baseless since I do talk to A a lot. But now I kind of just say yes to a kind of date with that guy? This will end in tragedy I know it but I am still going ahead? Hell must have frozen over.

Okay so if I don't take this seriously would this be better? If I just consider him as a friend is that okay? Maybe. Perhaps. Yes. Must be.

Spring Retreat Again

2005-03-18T15:02:00.000-08:00

Well, as always once again I am pessemistic about the spring retreat. Venessa is not going for the second year in a roll and I am rather disappointed. Obviously, my survival through spring retreat does not depend on her completely, but with her around it had always been easier. For all I can see, I had only gotten more cynical about religion since last year. I used to at least sort of listen in church, now I have completely stopped. But who knows? Maybe spring retreat will be able to bring me once again into a spiritual high like it often does. But then again maybe not this year. The words of God only reach those who want to be saved. And at the moment, I am not too receptive towards anything.

Schoolyard Love Problems

2005-03-13T15:44:00.000-08:00

No. I am not having love problems. People around me are, and to be completely honest, I am rather amused by all those problems.

The more problems they have = more gossips = more things to joke about = more people blushing = utter amusement on my part.

Constantine

2005-03-07T19:33:00.000-08:00

The joy of watching movies.

Some people are blatantly bias against Keanu Reeves, some people aren't. I just happen to be someone who aren't.

Admittedly, he really sucked in the last two Matrix movies. The only thing I liked about those two movies were the French woman and the French man. Go them. But honestly, I blame the crappy script a lot more than the actors. It is hard to have a good preformance when you are stuck with a God awful script.

Luckily, although not perfect, the script for Constantine was not all together horrible. I am somewhat disappointed John Constantine is no longer British, but I guess for this movie, it works. I have read some of Hellblazer. Not everything, but I read enough to get the gist of his character: bitter, sarcastic, cynical. John Constantine in the movie was not too far from how I imagined. Reeves even got the whole chain smoking thing right... I wonder how much they paid him to smoke that much.

I do not really like the Angela character. I hate how she keeps thinks a stupid gun is useful on demons. That and the fact she does not listen to warnings. John Constantine specifically told her to stay in the freaking car, but nooooo she just has to leave the car without the pendant. How stupid can you possibly get?

Here are some highlights for me:

1. When Constantine found out he had late stage of lung cancer. From the top of my head the script was something like this:

Constantine: After all my battles with full fledge demons, my journeys to hell and back, I am going to be done in by none other than this. *show a cigarette* Hell. *takes out a cigarette and smokes*

2. Coughing to his death due to lung cancer, Constantine saw a billboard that said: Your time is running out. Get your Chevrolet.

Laina's comment: Aw but that seems so personal.

3. Angela was leaving the hospital. The elevator's door is closing.

Angela: Hold the door.
Constantine: Not if I can help it.

4. Chad, and his taunts to the bouncer after Constantine knocked him out.
5. Constantine talks with Gabriel. For example.

Gabriel: All one have to do to unite with God's kingdom is to believe. That is all you have to do. But you don't believe, Constantine.
Constantine: For Christ's sake I believe!

6. Constantine tricked a demon into believeing he was doing the final rite on him. After he successfully tricked the demon:

Constantine: You have to believe for that to work, Asshole.

7. Constantine fingering Lucifer.
8. Constantine did not kiss Angela at the end.
9. Hell is pretty cool looking.
10. Demon killing scenes
11. Constantine trapping a spider under a glass and then blew cigarette smoke inside the glass.

Constantine: Welcome to my life.

Lowlights (is there such a thing?) for me:
1. Angela did not die.
2. Constantine stopped chain smoking at the end. (What the hell?!)
3. Chad, Father Hennessy and Beeman dropped dead like flies. (Where will Constantine get sidekicks for Constantine II?)
4. The whole heaven thing with shining light looks so cliche.
5. Constantine kissed Angela once. (why?)
6. Constantine actually redeemed himself. (He is not suppose to be able to)
7. Constantine never used the dragon breath thing to kill demon
8. Constantine did not cough enough for someone who had final stage of lung cancer
9. Angela really likes falling into the water wearing a white shirt and a black bra doesn't she?
10. Some scenes looked too much like scenes from the Matrix.

Overall, I thought the movie was not bad. Can improve, but definately worth watching. I can see myself possibly buying the movie in the future because all the special effects amused me greatly.

Double faced

2005-02-22T21:03:00.000-08:00

Yes, people are freaking me out, especially she-who-must-not-be-named. She is freaking me out really bad.

The thing is, I am not used to seeing anyone like this... she is so... unstable. Her outbrusts. God her outbursts. She makes me angry. She lied to me too. There goes my trust. Honestly it is almost like a Polyxena/Cassandra relationship thing. So close yet so far. I don't even know how to explain it. But really although you see a lot of similarities we are really different.

Honestly, I hope I would never be like her. She makes too many acquaintance but not enough friends. She is a hypocrat too. I hate hypocrats.

Three weeks ago, it snowed on sunday. I thought my father was lying because I could not see any snow on the ground, but he was not becuase there was flurries.

Frozen over Doom

2005-01-15T17:22:00.000-08:00

The weather is nicer than I could have hoped for really. When it snowed last last Thursday I thought the snow would disappear by Monday following. The thing is... it didn't. The weather was nice and cold all through last week. Some nights it reached -9! Very nice. Snow stayed the whole week.

I am obsessed with snow. I have to admit. I love snow for uncomprehensible reasons. But that cannot be helped can it? Happily there will be fresh snow tonight. I am so excited about that. Sadly it would be gone by Monday because the weather would become very warm afterwards. =(

Of course danger also comes with snow and cold weather. After a whole week of not snowing and constant melting and recrystalizing of snow on the ground, the road is basically a skating ring right now. Just the other day a car drove up the curb and almost into my fense. ^_^;;; But I guess it is kind of fun anyway when you slip your way to school.

I worked on the extended essay a lot last week. So much did I work on it that I did not sleep for two nights. It was not really healthy but as Churchhill said, 'Desperate time calls for desperate measure.' It was necessary... at least I think so anyway. I did not do too good in the history test. But then again no one else did well either. I guess it is okay.

Oh well. Humm... I got into Death Note again. I finally caught up with the manga. It was really good I thought. At first I really like Raito, but then he turned extremely evil in the middle of the series. He became nice again after he lost his memories, but then he turned evil again now that he got his memories back. This makes me rather sad although I knew that would happen right from the beginning. But see, because of that I started to like L. L is really odd looking. I guess the artist was trying to show a contrast between these two extemely different yet strangly alike character. L and Raito are both equally smart, so neither of them can really stop each other from doing anything. When Raito is good, he worked with L, I thought that was awsome becuase that made their team completely unbeatable.

Unfortunately now that Raito is evil again he would want to kill L. L better watch out I would hate it if he dies.

I think Raito will die at the end of the manga though. I mean how else can the story ends? He killed tons of people. He can't be allowed to live. I can see that girl living but I really can't see Raito living. Even if his memories are completely erased. L can live though I think, since he did absolutely nothing wrong. Maybe he can end up with that girl. I can see them together since they are both so odd.

Meeting people I have not seen for...

2005-01-03T08:32:00.000-08:00

Benny's b-day is today. I wish him a happy birthday. 18, God he is old.

Yesterday went at ate out with his friends. It was interesting to see so many guys I have not seen, some since grade 7. I remembered half of their names (I like that half more I think), and I vaguely remember the other half.

The funny thing is half of them don't know I speak Chinese, which is kind of strange, I think. Did I really tried that hard to speak English in grade 7? I guess when my English was that bad I felt I could not afford to speak Chinese unless I had to. I guess I just wanted every single chance to practice my English. But than again, it may just be that none of them tried to talk to me.

They were also surprised I watched Chinese dramas. Is it really that funny? I love Chinese Drama ever since God knows when.

Ah well I was really full yesterday. I ate a lot. No carbohydrate except for simple sugar though. But that cannot be helped. I spent 20 dollars all of which I have to pay myself. >_< Oh that cake was really good (although personally I liked the mango part a lot more than that nut part. From Mengo Jelato (sp?).

Hug

2004-12-30T15:08:00.000-08:00

They say sandman brings with him our secret desires, fears and hopes. If that is true, then it seems that my utmost desire is to hug someone really hard without being pushed away.

Does this show my insecurity? Or the lack of hugging in my family? Or the fact show I watched Anastasia yesterday and they had a few hugging scenes? I really don't know.

Urge to die... rising

2004-12-17T03:21:00.000-08:00

Urge to die... rising.

Haha look at that pun. Of course you would not know this is a pun unless you are Laina.

Yeah I am going insane. The stress load is just crazy. Guess what is due tomorrow? I have three labs and one essay. Joy! And all of them really count... >.<

Damn IB and all. G4 really sucks. Not only did I have to do almost the whole chemistry lab alone, I have to write up the lab and then send it to other people so they can see. Can't they just do it themselves? I hate doing the stupid chemistry lab. It takes forever and it is so repetitive and boring. Bosco thinks he did everything just becuase he did the bio lab, but you know what? He spent maybe one third of the time I spent on the chemistry lab. Damn them all. I like Jamil though he actually worked you know. I guess I can't complain i got Jamil to send me some labs. I honestly did not copy anything he wrote. I hope he believes me. If he looks at my lab he would understand.

To top off anything that is already bad, I discovered this morning my English World Lit 1 is gone! Joyful isn't it? I am soooo glad I have a hard copy. All I have to do is to retype and re-edit it... Thank God I am a pretty fast typer. But the whole re-edit thing is going to take while. I am never good at re-edit things.

But anyway. I am stuck staying awake the whole night. First time this two years in IB! Wow! Amazing! But I will get these group 4 lab done, this bio lab done, the English World Lit 1. I will go to school. I will go to that Christmas breakfast (hopefully but I am starting to get doubtful at three in the morning).

Christmas Decorations

2004-12-11T17:37:00.001-08:00

I decorated my house today. I took out the tree as usual but I used less ornament than the past five years becuase it looks better this way. I put the stuff animals on the fireplace instead of at the bottom of the tree.. I think it looks better. I also stopped using those old red and green paper to cover the bottom of the tree. Instead I used more of those shinny stringy thing. One string of green and silver and another of red and silver. To top that off I added a string of outdoor light at the bottom of the tree... The tree was decorated to my satisfaction except for the fact my mom threw away two of our old strings of light. To my utter horror, both the colour string and the white string were gone... so this year the tree looks unbelievably dim. Mom said she may get some more light for the tree if she has time.

Now the only thing left to do is to stick those window stickies on to the windows.

Oh one more thing Michelle gave me the best gift again... I doubt anyone else can give me better gifts than her this year either. Last year she gave me that Naruto manga book which I am still very proud of having. This year she gave me the newest Naruto figure set. Oh my God it looks good. You can see it here. The only one I still need is the first one. Which unforunate holds the only Sakura in the sets along with a very cool looking Kakashi. Unfortunately... that set is out of shock in most place or is extremely expensive at places that holds it.

Madame Butterfly

2004-12-08T17:44:00.000-08:00

I went and watched Madame Butterfly yesterday. It was really good. It was sad, but the music was very pretty.

Snow

2004-12-06T17:36:00.000-08:00

First snow of the year fell today during second period of history class. It was only wet snow, but snow nevertheless.

Winter Formal

2004-12-04T21:32:00.000-08:00

It was funner than I thought it would be.

I got really hyper by the end. I say it is the stress I was in during the week. Or the two pieces of chocolate cake I ate for dessert. Or the deafening music. What ever it was I got really hyper... sort of like the time when I was standing next to Anthony at Church camp when we both starting singing in that impossibly high pitch after drinking way too many cups of hot chocolate. Yeah... sort of like that.

It was really fun though. I also found out a few things that are kind of interesting:
1. John can dance. He took lessons for a year.
2. Jenny likes dancing.
3. Helen looks like a Russian model. Hell she can be one for all I care.
4. Regina dances when she is peer pressured into it.
5. Kenneth dances too when other people are dancing.
6. Loud music makes me hyper.

I found out when I look back at the pictures something that is not so pleasing:
1. God I am fat.

I am fat and that makes me depressed.... I tell you mom is totally blinded by her filial love when she says I was pretty in my dress. I look freaken fat. Vivien lost a lot of weight after getting sick. Maybe I should catch a cold too and barf my head off then I would loose at least five pounds too. Too bad that sound really uncomfortable and painful... *sigh*

Talked to Henry yesterday. He sounded alright. He really wants other people to go to UBC with him... or something.

Talked to Hilda the other day too. Anthony (the evil one) is being mean to her. How can he? That is totally blasphemous. Then again when are dictators ever aren't?

I decorated Christmas tree at the cannery. The ordered pizza. And I watched Pirates of the Caribbean again. It was fun anyway. =)

Hanging in there

2004-11-24T18:56:00.000-08:00

Inspiration comes from the oddest sourse sometimes.

You would think hell is freezing over before a math teacher would say something that really make you feel better. It i odd, but Mr. P asked me about how it was, and rather IB was still evil. I told him i is, and he told me to hang in there.

That made me feel a lot better than before, when all I could think about the the hour before and during math class was jumping out a building and going splat. Strange how little encouragements can go such a long way.

Amused

2004-11-19T20:44:00.000-08:00

I am putting in another entry because something amused me. Here is something a fanfiction writer wrote in his/her fanfiction:

"I am only flunking English because I slacked off on my homework to write fanfiction and so I am approximately two months behind on it and have my first and only F in any class, ever. I view this as incredibly funny, though, because I normally love irony, when it doesn’t happen to me, so this is probably some sort of cosmic retribution. My parents do not know, and if I work my ass off they will never find out."

I don't know why that is funny to me, but I guess finding out someoen is having the same problem as me makes me happy. You know, its the 'YES! Someone is suffering with me!' mentality, not nice, but who cares. Okay, fine I am NOT failing. But I am not getting a good mark in math and mandarin right now. Why? Basically because I did not study in the my first Mandarin test. But after seeing my mark I went into frantic studying for the second one. I probably never worked that hard on a Mandarin test ever before. But that's beside the point. The thing is... I got a relatively good mark there, not perfect but an A nevertheless. Same thing goes with English, I screwed up in the first essay so I went and study extra hard the next one. I have a feeling it will happen for math too, since I screwed up my mark in the second test. The funny thing of coruse, is that I sacrificed my math test for the history test, which I still did not get a good mark on. But then again no one in the class did. So I am okay with that. I did find, though, that I am good at article tests. I am very bad at the essay test... but than so are majority of the people.

Oh I did not get the scholarship. Damn. I guess its God's will.

A bunch of stuff

2004-11-18T17:09:00.000-08:00

I actually wrote a post a few days earlier but got deleted. Stupid computer.

Anyway, the next few weeks will be filled with nothing be insanity as it becomes insanely busy and demanding. I need to finish Extended Essay, World Lit 1, 2 Mandarin projects, English poetry project, math portfolio, group 4, math test, chem test, everything... bla bla bla....

Give me time management or else I die. *yes, that's my lame attempt to allusion*

Okay I will just write down my random thoughts at the moment:

Mom came back from HK. Brought back a lot of pretty new looking second handed clothes. I don't mind wearing them, they fit me well, so who cares if someone else owned them before?

I downloaded Paranoia Agent. It's pretty odd, but I heard people liked it that's why I am downloaded it, but I don't have time to watch it.

I am going to go to Winter Formal! Can you believe it?! I said a month ago I would NEVER go, but Regina was like if you go a lot of other people will go, so I thought, "Meh." Turned out it was true, because after I bought the ticket I started bugging people to go, and I even managed to get Kenneth, who said no pretty firmly just last week, to go! What an accomplishment! ^_^

I lost my calculator a few weeks ago. I gave up on it... but yesterday I *coughfoundcough* a graphing calculator... Is it really mine? I will leave it up to you to decide. *smiles innocently*

Naruto's manga is pretty good right now. I liked how they ended off Part I. It was quite nice, seeing Sakura finally gaining some kickass power. It was quite painful to watch her do nothing for so long when we all know so well she will eventually follow Tsunade's footstep. I will quote what she said in the preview of 108, "As they move forward, I was left behind." It is only too true, and finally, after about 200 chapters of manga she is finally starting to catch up again. ^_^

Sunday, I watched Casshern. It was the prettiest movie I have ever seen in my whole entire life but that movie made absolutely no sense what so ever. Although I did find it more satisfying than Final Fantasy: The Spirit Within for some odd reasons. I guess maybe it was because Casshern was longer and I watched with with company who actually wanted to believe it was a good movie. We ate Church's Chicken before watching the movie, the chicken was good, though God I must have gainned a pound just by eating it. Anthony drove again, and for some odd reasons I am quite compelled to learn to drive myself... maybe during Christmas I will take the exam.

New Comp

2004-11-05T14:49:00.000-08:00

I got a new comp. It is a happy occasion.

Guilt

2004-10-15T15:33:00.000-07:00

Grandmother died.

It was quite sudden, just a week ago, the doctors were saying that she probably has a year more to live if the medication does not work. The medication seemed to have worked. Auntie Po said she looked healthier after taking the medicine. I don't understand why the doctors made such a mistake. How can they? We trusted them so much and they let us down. I was planning to go back to Hong Kong in the summer, I would have sacrificed Summer School once again to see her again, but I guess that won't be needed now.

I hate myself for thinking what I was thinking this morning. It was so shelfish. Just this morning when my mom told me she was going to go to Hong Kong next week becuase grandma fainted during her blood transfusion and all I thought about was how chaotic the house will be after she leave. I did not even think of how grandma could have died, right then, half way around the globe. I wish I was there to see her go, I think it would make me feel better now. It would have make me feel I carry out my reponsibilities as a grand daughter, the favorite grand daughter. I am her favorite, I think, even if she never says it. It is just a silent acknowledgement. She likes me even if Alice wins more competitions. I was cute when I was young.

I feel even worst because I could have asked for prayers last week when Oz asked, or the week before. I could have. It might have helped. Last two times I asked it worked. She lived and I was able to see her again this summer. This time I thought, it was probably not God's doing, so I did not ask. I refused to ask, even though I had so many chances to ask. Of course the prayers may not be heard, the prayers may not have helped, and there may not be a God. But there may... and there is not harm in asking. It is a possibility, a speck of hope. But it is too late for that too.

I feel sorry for mom, at the moment she must be blaming herself for not going to Hong Kong earlier. She drowns herself with cooking and phoning. She must be blaming herself for not staying in Hong Kong this summer longer, she must be blaming herself because she knew there were so many opportunities, excuses she could have used to go to Hong Kong. If she decided to go back when my grandmother's health was starting to turn bad in the beginning of this month she could have seen her, touch her, talk to her. She could have told her she was sorry for some unknown lies she told in her childhood that my grandmother never found out, small meaningless things like that, but those make all the differences. She could have hugged her, or perhaps say something that Chinese never seem to ever say to their own mother -- I love you.

That's the thing, most Chinese don't show their feelings enough, not when it counts. At least it is the case with my family, and maybe even more so for the generation before me. I know parents would have been too busy to make enough money for food to kiss their children good night, or hug them, or just saying I love you. Even now, I never told my parents I loved them and I am sure my mother never told either parents that either. She must have thought, when my garndfather died that she would not make the same mistake with my grandmother, but words, although the reach the tip of our lips, we can't say it. We can never say it. Even when we want to.

And I think it is the same with my grandmother. Even when she criticized my mother for going to Hong Kong when there was SARS she only criticized because she was worried. She understood how much it took my mother to go back then right? She must have. I know she did understand, perhaps not in the beginning but when she was reconstructing the events. She probably have so much more she want to say to each of her children before she go. What was she thinking about before she fell asleep last day. She must have thought she would wake up again, right? Or did she know? If she knew did she accept it?

Or was she like me? Walking past that departure door as quickly as I could, without even taking a really good look at her? I should have. But I did not want her to see me cry. That is the real reason I think but at that moment I told myself I waited for the rest of my family at the other side of the door because I think seeing me any longer would make her cry. Why did not I hug her serously when I had the chance. Why is showing my feelings so hard. I imagine in that last week before I left how I would leave. I imaged I would hug my grandmother really hard and tell her I really do love her, and thank her for everything she did when I was young? But I could not do that when it really happen. I could only hug her like I was joking. I could not say anything to her. Did she think I was excited to leave when I went past that door so quickly? I was not that excited. I could not stand the idea that I must leave and never see her again. I could not stand the idea that I could not see her last breath, or go to her funeral. I could not stand the idea that the next time I see her I would not see her in person. That was why I was crying so hard on the plane. I want to say so much to her but I could not and I know this will continue to happen. I knew before hand that when I next got to talk to her on line, I could only talk like I was hyper, like I could not sit still, like I could not talk like I erally meant it. I could not say way I really meant to say to people I really know and love. I still can't.

Is it me? It seems to me everytime she seems me she get sick quickly afterwards. After she came to Canada she found out she had cancer. After I left from Hong Kong she found her cancer is reactivated. Is it just that I am bad luck?

Maybe if I don't see her, she would not find her cancer reactivated.

She is gone, as fast as how grandfather died. And somehow I feel I have failed as a granddaughter again.

Horatio Hornblower

2004-10-01T21:28:00.000-07:00

Just watched the fifth Horatio Hornblower movie. The English spoken there is extremely hard to hear, but the battle scenes blew my mind. Very good. Then again, as I said before I think I will always be drawn to any movies set in England. Its like I moved to the wrong place or something, I think. I must go to England somet day I think. I will be happy, aside from the fact all my friends are here along with my parents and everything is way too expensive.

In any case... I am going to be watching Under Milk Wood tomorrow with Laina!!!!! Oh my God! She contacted me on her own! Wow! Insane!

I am reading Handmaid's Tale. P176. I want to read till at least 200 tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Naruto episode 101

2004-09-21T17:35:00.000-07:00

Never did this before for a Naruto episode, but it was just such an odd Naruto episode that I thought I should do something different. Just watched it. It was just so out of place, it was funny.

Remember this is set after Sasuke woke up from his coma given by Itachi. He just woke up then he pulled some prank on Kakashi along with Naruto and Sakura...

They wanted to find out what he looks like so they treated him ramen. Notice how Sasuke is happy...

Ino and gang messed up their plan...

After many unsuccessful plans, Kakashi finally agreed to show them what is underneath his mask.

They were mezmerized...

But it was just another mask.

I honestly never saw Sasuke so happy even in the beginning of the whole series. O_o

Constipation, Full Moon and the epiphany of meaninglessness

2004-09-18T22:07:00.000-07:00

Its lovely, for English we are reading a book about nothing. Waiting for Godot is probably THE book for meaninglessness. I mean how much better can it get than two guys who can't remember anything are sitting underneath a tree waiting for someone who they don't know, constantly want to leave but never do anything about their wish?

This week was pretty interesting. Mom was forcing me to eat a lot of fruit. Yesterday I had plums, plum juice, papaya, grapes, and grape fruits after she found out laxatives don't work on me. She keeps thinking if she doesn't force me to drink plum juice I would get digestine cancer or something. Luckily the fruits in this season are pretty good.

I was listening to a lot of Linkin Park songs lately, they are so very angsty, and that sort of made me read a lot of angsty fanfictions (from series I used to like). Can you believe there is actually a Kingdom Hearts story about Riku and blood? In fact in that story, there was a whole paragraph that only said blood. I put that story on my favorite list because it amused me.

Oh I also got really into reading Full Moon manga this week. I don't know why. I watched the anime a few months ago, found it pretty good, but the manga is, as usual, even better. I downloaded chapter 1-29 after searching for the manga for hours upon hours. It was overly dramatic but very fun nevertheless much like soap opras. How is it possible that a three year old would meet the love of her life anyway?

Given she ended up with Takuto at the end... but that was only because Eichi-kun died. I thought Mitsuki was more likable in the anime... she just seemed nicer and more considerate to all other people there. In the manga she seems a bit more whiny but that's probably because she knew Eichi-kun was dead all along but was in self-denial. Takuto seemed pretty much the same in the manga and the anime personality wise but different in terms of the way he suicide in his past life. I liked the way he killed himself in the manga more. Riding a motorcycle off a cliff seemed very lame compare to jumping off a hospital building right in front of his best friend.

They actually told us how Meroko and Izumi died in the manga too. I think that was much better. Apparantly Meroko sliced her wrist after seeing her boyfriend making out with her best friend who ended up to be Mitsuki's grandmother. Poor Mitsuki's grandmother... it wasn't really her fault, but she had to live with a life time of guilt after Meroko's death... well at least until Meroko showed she forgave her.

Izumi is so much more interesting in the manga. In the anime he was just there. He did nothing except being there. In the manga, his character was much more developed, and he does end up with Meroko at the end much to my satisfaction. He is way softer to Mitsuki in the anime and on top of that we found out about his past life. I especially loved the way he killed himself by throwing himself in front of a train trying to make his mother smile again when he was a small child. I couldn't believe it but apparantly Shinagami do age...

At chapter 29, Mitsuki is finally happy but Takuto disappeared into sparklies. I wonder how the last chapter would turn out. I heard it was a happy ending and for some very odd reason takuto ended up to be alive... I can't wait...

Father's Midlife Crsis

2004-09-05T01:48:00.000-07:00

Dad is complaining a lot these days, I think he is getting into his midlife crisis or something. He seems to really enjoy saying stuff behind people's back, at home anyway, he will never say anything in front of people.

Luckily things that were said were not undeserved. I mean what is it with selling things for 3-4x the actual value to friends? If you are going to rip off anyone don't rip off your own friend. I know, I know this is a business, but even if you have to rip off people, don't do it too blazingly obvious on your friends becuase you would lose them like this. Give your friends a discount, this way both party would be happy. *sigh* I REALLY don't want to have my name on my neck, I don't get why parents think that is cute. If I can I would refund, but since that auntie is a friend of my parents we can't do that. *sigh*

Oh I hate these mosquitoes flying around everywhere. They are horrible. There are at least 5x more mosquitoes this year than last year.

Read the newspaper today, Clinton got a heart attack and more than 200 people died in that hostage situation in Russia. The world is a sad place indeed.

Finished watching ep 1-12 for Samurai Champloo. It was really really good. Especially ep 1, 3-4, 8-11. Ep 12 is the newest subbed episode, it is a recap episode but it was done in a way I found amusing, so I enjoyed it, mostly. I don't like that detective guy he is annoying, if I recall correctly I only saw him once and that was in episode 5. Thank God for that. I don't think I can stand him for any more episode. Mugen is still the best character in that show.

Ouch, my ears are bleeding for some reason right now, maybe I should go and sleep.

Samurai Champloo

2004-09-03T17:19:00.000-07:00

I never wanted to watch it, but since I was really bored these few days I decided to give this show a try and I found I really like Samurai Champloo. I love the main characters: immoral and impulsive Mugen ( 無幻 )﹐ honourable and composed Jin ( 仁 ), flamboyant and cute Fuu ( 風 ). They are very unique, and fit together very well. Their names are all fitting... well if you know Chinese/Japanese that is. Mugen means no illusion (of the human nature, perhaps? Is that why he acts without thinking so much of consiquences?), Jin means kindness/righteous (and indeed he is a good and moral person), and Fuu means wind (she is a drifter from place to place like th wind, and her personality is very relaxing). While Mugen is immoral, lustful, kills without regrets, and fights for fun, he still cares for his companions (one can hardly count how many times he went to save Fuu's arse without any second thoughts). While Jin is honourable, responsible and calm, he is tactful and is not scared to fight (or kill) when the time comes. While Fuu is flamboyant, bold, weak in terms of fighting skills and therefore often become the maiden in distress, she is still resourceful very useful in their journey and impossible to hate (not the mention she has considerable power over Mugen -- he does listen to her to some extend). Honestly I think they are the most dynamic group I have ever seen in Anime.

Directed by the guy who directed Cowboy Bebop, this anime is almost sure to gain good reviews in America (not so much in Japan because this anime is animated in some innovative style that does not go so well there). Also because it is by that director, Samurai Champloo is constantly compared to Cowboy Bebop, and I would give my opinion here. I think like Bebop, Champloo is very episodic, and nicely animated. They are both animated in odd ways, and where as Bebop utilized jezz, Champloo uses hip-hop. I must admit I really don't like hip-hop, but since it fits the anime style I am incline to let this personal dislike pass.

Okay on to characters, I have to say I prefer Mugen (although I am sure I would hate him in real life) than Spike, he is just less depressed and don't dwell on the past so much. Sasuke from Naruto probably dwells on the past even more but being 12 has to be his excuse. Spike is cool but no matter when you see him he always manages to give you an impression that he is sad. As for the less main but still main characters in the show... I obviously like Jin more than Jet - Jin is just much more subtal, mysterious and pretty than the 30+ Jet in Bebop. I will not deny that I much prefer young characters than old ones because I can relate to them much better. In any case, I am human and I am superfical for looks to some degree. Oh as for Faye vs. Fuu, since I am not a guy and does not care for women with big breasts, I am more incline to say I like Fuu more. She is once again, much younger, and is closer to my age. Lastly, I will say I really love Ed in Bebop, he was really really cute and so was that dog, but since there are no counterparts for them in Champloo I can't say much.

As you can probably guessed by now, I think Bebop is over rated, sort of like Ghost in the Shell, but maybe that's just cause from what others said I expected so much that when I actually watched it I was truely disappointed.

So to summarize everything I will just say: Samurai Champloo rocks!

Stupid Odd Accent

2004-08-27T18:10:00.000-07:00

I just updated my fanfiction, it made me rather proud of myself. I mean I did not update it since March and I am sure most people who read my story probably have completely forgotten it, but anyway, considering this is a Naruto story, and considering I do not have a large fan base, I think having 32 reviews for two chapters is quite good.

I should honestly write something for the ending of that Yugioh story, but Yugioh is so far from my passion now that, writing something about some pitiful cartoon character's past stops being interesting, especially when I now see how impossible my story is from the very beginning. Unfortunately, I do have a few friends (maybe two or three) who do want me to finish and they are very good at putting guilt trips on me.

Um... anyway, I also wrote another Naruto story, its sort of a new idea, spur of the moment thing. Sort of funny in many odd ways, and I am planning to keep it so. Looks like a few people liked it. I am rather glad about that.

Got back an e-mail from Ms. Jeckovac, she seems to be living a happy life, I am glad for her. She said I would be a good writer if I put my work in it... I am flattered, of course, but really I don't see myself writing books becuase of my tendency of starting things unfinished. It's quite a bad habbit and I desperately want to break that.

I hate it, when ever I read a book or watch a movie, their language always wears on me. I can't help it, but I think it is really causing me problems. I have a stupid liking to English films and for this reason, at times some of the words I speak have an English accent which is very stupid seeing I am in Canada and no one has an English accent. So a bunch of people go around saying I have an English accent even though I never took one step into England or ever been around any one with an English accent.

To make the matter worst, I honestly don't think I am ever going stop liking English films. So I will probably have an odd, not really but kind of British accent for the rest of my life. Luckily, I also love Chinese dramas, so my language won't be completely confonded to English films, but really, its getting tiresome.

Vanity Fair seems like a good book. I think I will read it sometime. There are 67 chapters, but each chapter is so short I think I may be able to read it.

Oh on a good note. I actually started on my History essay. I love writing the narrative first paragraph, but I am sure the next four will be very hard to write.

Sense and Sensibility

2004-08-22T23:16:00.000-07:00

Was watching the 1996 adoption of Sense and Sensibility, an excellent movie. The actors were all very appropriate, and very persuasive. Hugh Grant and Alan Rickman were very good in there (one cannot believe how young Grant looked in that movie). It was odd though, as Vanessa pointed out, to see the same actor who did Professor Snape dressed in the Regency era clothes, but he acted well, and I liked his character. Unfortunately for me, I could not shake the thought of Professor Snape completely off my mind and laughed out loud when the Colonel was reading Shakespeare to Marianne.

I do think there is one actor that stood out particularly though, and that is Hugh Laurie. He played Mr. Palmer, a minor character who hardly said six lines, but he gripped the attention of the audience every single line. He was absolutely fabulous in the movie.

The story was charming but it pales against Pride and Prejudice (which to this day remains my favorite book ever), Elizabeth's character betters both Elinor and Marianne by far. I wish I can be as good as Elizabeth in personality, but I think she is the way everyone dreams to be but can never be.

The epiphany of tragedy

2004-08-20T09:35:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I haven't been so excited about one thing in a while. I mean to think about it so much... it has not happened since Naruto. But of course, Naruto had passed for a while. I still love the show, of course, but it's sort of different now.

Oh I totally love this show. I love the humour, I love the wit, I love the satire, I love the romance, I love the irony, I love everything about it! It is just so... ME! I mean for all I know the way 子華 talks is just like the way Oscar Wilde's characters talk! So witty, so brilliant. Everyone wants a happy ending. I heard there might be 2 endings, and if there are I will be so happy.

It's just like someone on the chat board for this show said: "They spend 24.75 episodes making the world of detective Mok so happy and good, and then in the last 0.25 episodes they make him think about himself waking up, asking Vivi out, proposing to Vivi, thinking of the date to get marry, and going to take the wedding photos... Making his death the epiphany of tragedy." It's a perfect sad ending, but so perfect that it makes people angry because we can't get happy endings in our lives but we want to live them through these characters in TV shows. We want happy endings. We want to make ourselves feel all fuzzy and warm inside by seeing our beloved characters able to survive everything and live a happy life!

Why can't stupid tvb just give their watching a happy ending. I what other channel can give a comedy a tragic ending?! They can't do that to us! They can't! No!

NOOOO

2004-08-19T16:20:00.000-07:00

Eep, can't believe it! I heard there might be a sad ending for 棟篤神探! >< NO that cannot be! It's a funny show! It is! It cannot possibly be sad! No! I refuse to cry for this show even though I almost never cry for any show, but it is a good show and I love the characters so they cannot die! I refuse! Although... I must admit, that ending (I saw some screenshots) was a perfect sad ending. I love the ending. Maybe I will do something like that for one of my stories. But... but I want a happy ending! It's a happy show! It must have a happy ending!

Although if it does have two endings I want to see both...

Trading anime

2004-08-14T23:37:00.000-07:00

Who ever asked about trading anime and never left your own e-mail... here's my e-mail: idonotlikemyname@hotmail.com we will talk about it there if you are still interested.

Rewrite of Hong Kong Vacation summary, cookies

2004-08-13T09:17:00.000-07:00

Volunteering for the moment but since we are in the computer lab I thought I should just go and update this.

About Hong Kong I bought a lot of stuff. So much I actually find myself very satisfied. Now I am not saying I bought a lot of very expensive stuff but I bought a lot of very cheap stuff. I bought so much clothes that I had to throw out two garbage bag full of clothes just to fit my new ones in. I also bought a lot of manga (using my parent's money) this include everything from the last of Yugioh, the new DN Angel, the new DAQ, the four xxx Holic that are out, the set of Magic Knight Kyreath 1 and 2, Alice 19th, and Conan. It was absolutely brilliant.

My uncle gave me the last three sets of Naruto figures. They looked pretty... well at least the last two set looked pretty. I really want the first set becuase that is the only set with Sakura in it, however, unfortunately demand had made that set so expensive that I could not afford it.

I went to two place aside from Hong Kong one is Beijing and the other one is Macow. The two places are pretty good. The worst part about China is the fact you have to pay to go to every single thing. Honestly, all those Chinese can see are S with two stikes. It's almost funny.

I watched 2 movies in Hong Kong, one is King Arthur, so much fighting and so little plot and the other one is this Chinese one called Zin Yan San Bao and it was about a epic writer (mao houp xiao shuo). (I know mao houp is not pin yin but too bad). That movie was very very funny. It was very good.

I saw both Qin Pu Yee and Li King Pui. They seemed very well. I like Qin Pu Yee a lot better now. I guess we all need to mature. ^_^ She wants to be a nurse while Li King Pui wants to work in the pharmacy industry. Well they all seemed well.

The only things I did not like about Hong Kong are the insufferable hot weather and the tragic fact that I lost my wallet there. Irony really was quite cruel in that occation. I mean I opened my new wallet for the first time that day, I went and put all my stuff from my old wallet into my new one, I put both library cards (Hong Kong and Richmond) in there, I put my ID Card (which I never had in my wallet before in my life) there, and I also put money in the wallet that day, finally my dad unknowingly put the octopus card that he just added money in (the most money in) there. I lost about $1000 worth of stuff there becasue regetting that ID card took me $400. Boooo.

Oh for something completely non related, I went and baked cookies in Laina's house. This is to say I never baked cookies before. But seeing even Anthony and David bake cookies themselves I thought I should at least learn. Laina's cookies are really really good.

Stupid Dumb Computer Error. Go Die!

2004-08-10T21:52:00.000-07:00

I just made a freaking long entry bu this stupid thing deleted it. Anyway I just got back from HK. I had fun there full summary will come when I am less angry.

Beijing Here I come

2004-07-02T18:50:00.000-07:00

Am rather excited right now just because I am about to head to Beijing. I don't know how what kind of internet access I will have, but I figure I will do okay once I get to Hong Kong. ^_^

I am probably going to bake in China, but that's okay, I guess. I will just be really really hot. heh.

I hope the plane won't crash in the middle of the Pacific Ocean too because that would be horrible especially now that I am so excited with the trip.

Am Really Touched

2004-06-24T22:47:00.000-07:00

I am really touched at the moment. Mother and father had been bothering me about the propane tank that was left in Jen's house the whole week. Jen told me to just go to her house and pick it up. Mother and father were not pleased because their logic told them that if you borrow something from somewhere that thing should be returned. They were okay with that but they want Jen's phone number so we can phone before we go and get it, but Jen refuses no matter how many times I asked for it.

I happened to asked Eugene about Jen's msn since she is not on my list so he knew what happened and he decided to go to Jen's house and pick it up for me. -o- That makes me feel rather bad. I mean he has absolutely nothing to do with this and he just goes get it back for me. I will make sure I make some food for him on Monday or whenever.

That time of the year

2004-06-01T15:24:00.000-07:00

I think I am at that time of the year again when everything is just crashing toward me and I am at the edge of being suicidal just to get away from everything.

Let's see what I have to accomplish in the next two and a half week.

Normal Chapter test:
Math Probability (Thurs)
Chem Equilibrium (June 11th)
Physic Relativity (June 11th)
English In class Essay (June 15th)

Essays:
English World Literature 1 (June 18th)

Labs:
Chemistry, three labs (June 16th)
Biology, planning a, b lab (June 16th)
Physic, stupid relativity lab (June 16th)

Finals:
Math Provincial (June 21st)
Biology Part one (June 11th), part two (June 14th)
History (June 17th)
Chemistry (June 18th)
Physic (June 21st)

So yeah I think I am going to die. Yes, I will die. Great, isn't it? Chem I am doing so horribly in it. I suck so much. >< Let's hope I can pull the stupid mark up with my final. Argu! I am doing horrible in bio too but that I feel I still sort of have some hope in. Well I guess if I do okay in the stupid chemistry test next week I will be fine, that is if I did realtively well in the two tests yet to be marked...

Physic, I am sure I will do okay, so is math, and English and History, the only thing I am really worrying are Bio and Chem, but Chem the most, see i am at the point I am so desperate I think I will say prayers each night for it... Well like God will take pity on me now, but it's worth a try.

The tragedy of being a writer

2004-05-20T19:19:00.000-07:00

I was reading about Oscar Wilde's life because I was most scandalously tricked into reading one of his plays and therefore fell into the trap of his writing. Honestly that guy is a genius. His writing is so funny. I love the writing style.

If you think his books are genius wait till you read about his life, I say it is equally dramatic. His early years does not seem all that remarkable. But after he married Constance Lloyd things got really interesting. He got famous after he wrote a few plays and books. Yet at his height of popularity he met and fell in love with Lord Alfred Douglas! Absolutely atrocious, don't you think?

I mean at the time of 1890, that was unthinkable. Homosexuality?! Well this guy went into a laws suit with Douglas' father and ended up being sue by the marquess instead for "gross indecency" meaning showing homosexuality in public, etc, being completely indecent int public's eyes.

Poor guy got imprisioned for two long years and then became bankrupt because of the law suits. If that was not bad enough, Lord Alfred Douglas actually abandoned Wilde at times when he was most needed. Wilde died poor in Paris in 1900, while Douglas denounced his homosexuality and married a chick.

In a way you can saw Wilde brought it upon himself, he is a flamboyant person, and I imagine, if he is alive today at my school, I would probably dislike him for extravagent ways, but as it is, since I never met him and I never know him, I am happy.

Troy

2004-05-14T23:52:00.000-07:00

Guess what?! I saw Troy!!! It was a good movie... With action, humor, and romance. I sound like I am advertising this movie aren't I? Guess what? I am!!

Saw it with Jessica, this just made the movie more funny. I mean watching it with Laina is great, but she is not the talkative type. I can't discuss the movie that much with her, and plus, if we do discuss it, it would probably be comparing the movie with the original mythology... Which is great, but I think I do enough compare and contrast at school.

But of course, I can't just forget about these comparison, so I made some just for fun:

Actual Myth:
-Gods were heavily involved
-Paris died
-Helen was returned to her husband
-The war took 10 years
-Archilles didn't play the leading role
-Paris was suppose to have a lot more brothers
-Archilles had this relationship with Briseis

Movie:
-Gods did not do anything
-Paris did not die
-Helen stayed with Paris
-Helen's former husband got killed by Hector after having a a fight with Paris
-Archilles was the main character
-Paris only had one brother - Hector
-War only took about a month to finish
-Briseis did not exist. Her role taken by Polyxena

Same in both
-War started because Paris stole Helen
-Archilles was the "greatest warrior every lived"
-Hector was the hero on Troy's side
-Paris killed Archilles
-Troy's king died
-Troy got burned
-They used a wooden horse to get into Troy
-Greeks wanted to take over Troy
-Archilles killed Hector
-Hector killed someone close to Archilles
-In one version of the myth Archilles fell in love with Polyxena
-Archilles died at the Scaean gate at Troy
-Archilles did not like King Agamemnon
-Archilles was not fighting for riches

Anyway, seeing the movie with Jessica allowed me to act like a fan girl. ^_^

After watching the movie, which made Bloom a sissy (but he proved that he is still intouch with his inner elf so he is still very skilled with arrows), the guy who plays Hector an extremely nice brother (wow he is probably the most likable character in the whole show), and Pitt a moody warrior (he is a great grey character! One of the best I have seen), Jessica and I went shouting down the street as if we were drunk.

Jex: Why? Why? Why did Brad Pitt has to die?
Me: Because Archilles had to die!
Jex: Stupid Bloom!
Me: Well at least Bloom was not a slut like Brad Pitt! He slept with what? Five women?
Jex: Three! I counted!

Basically our conversation continued along those lines with Jessica constantly mourning Archilles' death. As you can tell, our shouting was sort of crazy and random. People were staring at us.

Anyway, it was a good movie, go watch it!

PS I saw Ms. Yasui there with her bf too, they were watching Troy too!

Weekend, Fight for chips, Sleepy

2004-05-10T20:38:00.000-07:00

Weekend was pretty busy because of Mother's day. I went out to eat for both Saturady and Sunday... so yeah.

Grade 11 finally fought for a coughrighteouscausecough. It's quite pathetic, getting into a fight just for some chips. But hack, we are teenagers, therefore we are all natural pigs.

In any case, for some odd, reasons I am sort of sleepy today. I don't really understand I just feel so tired all the time.

I talked to Laina today, went to her house just for fun. It was nice talking to her.

By the way! Look at the bottom of this post! Blogger now allows commenting. Isn't that cool>?

The End of Hell I see Light!

2004-05-06T19:14:00.000-07:00

Honestly, nothing makes you feel more like a nerd than reading the The Constituion of the United States of America when you are not an American. But that was what I did two weeks ago and yesterday I finished my essay on the Constituion arguing that although the constituion allowed some discriminations it was a revolutionary paper for its time. Oh the drama!

Geeze talk about a great life.

Did I tell you a few days before I also finished 10 journals for English. And then last week I had a TOK essay due, a whole bunch of chapter tests that I could not afford to screw up in....

Basically I am just thankful to God that I survived the last three weeks, or the so called "hell" weeks. I am glad I can fianlly sleep. Actually, I really want to sleep right now because I only slept for two hours yesterday night, a then three hours two days before. I am really sleep deprived. <_<

Oh I talked to Laina for a bit yesterday on MSN. She seemed to be doing well.

Random thought: I really need to catch up on my math hw...

One more

2004-05-04T19:55:00.000-07:00

Okay one more essay then rest... for a few days!!!!

2004-04-18T22:23:00.000-07:00

i am going to die. I am going to die. I am going to die. Full panic mode on. So many tests, assignments, projects all due in next three weeks. I am going to die. I am going to die.

Insanity

2004-04-08T22:46:00.000-07:00

Tiredness had finally driven me insane. I could have used my time wisely tonight but instead I wasted it all away for my own amusement - though I think I will try to finish reading Death of Atemio Cruz - just 40 pages to go! *squeal*

Oh I feel so freaking responsible these few days, I actually DID homework! I actually study! Wow! I am so impressed! I also did okay on my last few tests, although I now I have to pull my marks up for physics and biology, ah flipping functions. <_< see I told you I am insane tonight.

Anyway, I just watched the first episode of Kono Minikuku mo Utsukushii Sekai, not really that impressed, sort of remind me Mahoromatics with less humour, better animation, perhaps better plot and much less ecchiness. But it does show some potentials I guess, beside, its the first full episode of anime I have watched in the last month beside Chrno Crusade and Naruto.

And now I am off to download Phantom OVA, an OVA about poor children brainwashed to become assasins or something, and another show called Kyou Kara Maou described by one of my all time favorite subbing group Life-Evil (due to the fact that they subbed Detective Academy Q for a while) as Fushigi Yuugi on crack. The art looks pretty good, and the main character looks cute, so I think I am going to watch it.

Anyway... IT'S EASTER IT'S EASTER!!!!!!!!

b-day Joy, fanfic, HK soap opras

2004-03-30T15:26:00.000-08:00

Look at this! I didn't even talk about my actual b-day date. I think I should at least mention it. I went eating at Fururoku shushi place. It was pricey but the food was nice. ^_^ People who came were Laina, Steph, Derek, Henry and Benny. It was fun eating. Oh and then they bought a cake from Saveway and we all ate a bit (except for Laina). It was a good cake for something that only cost us 7 dollars. Anyway, Laina went home afterwards, but then the other ppl came to my house and we rewatched some of Trigun. It was very good. Earlier that day I went comic book shopping with Laina. She looked rather bored. Oh well. I bought a few packages of manga on sale and then I bought this the Naruto fan book (the most expensive thing I bought that day). I doubt it was really worth what I got it for, but oh well. It was still sort of cool having reference for almost all Naruto characters.

Oh I finally finished something new for fanfiction. I rewrote that Digimon fic I did when I was 14 and my writing was still absolute crap. It still suck big time but does not suck as much as it used to suck. I also finished the first chapter for my Naruto story. It was nice to have something up. I got less reviews for these than I would have gotten if I updated my yugioh story, but then I really wanted to write that Naruto one so... there. In any case I did work on the yugioh one. It will probably be the next thing I update. I think.

I got obsessed with another Chinese soap opras. I really don't know why, but it seems to me that shows these days are a lot more possitive and happy than the other ones. I like them so much more than the old ones where people just sort of get drunk, have sex and then break up. I mean god, can they be more plotless?

The new ones are a lot more proper and happy and funny. I suppose its IB, but after getting so much homework, I don't really feel like watching tragedy. I just want to watch comedies.

This new one (well technically not new since it was shown in Hong Kong about a year ago when Sars was still raging in Hong Kong (so its still pretty new for Canadian standard). Its about negotiators. The English name is Take my Words for It. I really like the character Yang Guang (though Jex hates him lol), I like how he is so happy go lucky sort of person... which is sort of odd since normally, at least in cartoons I like people with horrible childhood and cold manners.

Well... I suppose, you do get the idea that this guy did not have the best childhood in the world but then he is still happy. Another person I like is an emotional girl who seems to be scared of everything. Her personality is realyl cute though, so I like her. The other two main characters are older people, the woman is that woman from Law Entanglement. As for the guy he is the one from a whole bunch of other shows I watched before.

Hummm HK soap opras are always the best (okay fine the Jap ones are not bad either - Long Vacation was pretty good).

Oh right, Regina, Sarah, Jenny and Vannessa all gave me b-day gifts. They are so nice. ^_^

Chaos Zone

House and Cuddy

Mid terms, Naruto, Iroha, Liar Game, Future?

New school term

For Better or For Worse

4/5 marks out, Christmas

Obsession / Finals / Separations

New Addictions

Been neglating this, anime evolution

Lebanon

Blogs

More summer reading

Sitting

John's birthday celebration, work

New Layout and Songs Download out. Reading interest lost.

Reading, new layout

Summer is Here!!!!

My week

Jyu oh sei

Movies, etc.

More Rage

RAM and headphones.

Sasuke showed his face!!!!!!!

Help

Faust

Please excuse my angry rant

Good Day

Tree, test and etc

Aged

Characters

Books, Valentines, Life.

A bunch of stuff

A slightly late update

Election

Boxing Day

Believe

Year End

Test Week

Test and more

Stupidity

On human cruelty

Bill Reid, Japanese, Draco Malfoy

Floatiness

Pumpkins

Immature

Death Week

Midterm, my destructive nature

Teachers on Strike

Sudden boost of depression... or not?

New Job

Sousei no Aquarion Ended, Ueki, Bleach.

Laptop, life, etc.

Pride and Prejudice Out in UK

University First Year = Me

Coward = me

Prom

New Addition to Collection

Award Night

IB exams done

IB Exams Week1

Blue Moon

Spring Retreat Again

Schoolyard Love Problems

Constantine

Double faced

Frozen over Doom

Meeting people I have not seen for...

Hug

Urge to die... rising

Christmas Decorations

Madame Butterfly

Snow

Winter Formal

Hanging in there

Amused

A bunch of stuff

New Comp

Guilt

Horatio Hornblower

Naruto episode 101